Page 47 of The Wife
“Jake, let me go.”
“Kiss me.”
I froze.
“You’re drunk,” I reminded him. “You don’t really want to do that.”
“No, it’s okay because I’m drunk. Because tomorrow I can say I wasn’t thinking. I’m tired of thinking so much, Ellie.”
His hand reached up to cup my face and then his fingers slid into my hair.
“Mine.”
I should have pressed harder against him. I should have wiggled away from him. He was drunk, he didn’t know what he was doing. And I was pretty sure given the fact that I was sober, if I did this I would be taking advantage of him. Not cool.
“Kiss me, Ellie.”
It had been so long. Months and months. One kiss. One kiss couldn’t hurt anything. He wasn’t going to remember any of this anyway.
I dropped my head and he did the rest. Cupping my face in both hands, tilting my head just a bit, and then he slid his tongue inside my mouth and my stomach dropped as if I had hit the downside on a roller coaster ride.
It felt like a ride, too. Fast and intense. He tasted like whiskey, but he also tasted like Jake. The same Jake from last time, who was all heat and slickness.
He was holding me and kissing me, and I could feel his erection pressing up against me, so I ground myself against it which made him moan into my mouth, and I thought,this is it. This is really going to happen.
Us.
My first time.
My first time with a drunk Jake.
I pulled away from him suddenly, and it startled him enough that he let me go. I scrambled off him until I was standing. That saying about being weak in the knees. So true.
“Ellie…”
I took a few breaths, and then I turned toward his feet and started working on the ties on his boots.
“You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing or who you are doing, and I don’t want…” I didn’t say I didn’t want to lose my virginity to someone who didn’t realize who he was banging, so I didn’t say anything else.
I got his boots off. I covered him with a blanket.
His eyes were nearly shut, but he wasn’t asleep yet.
“Kissing you is the best thing,” he muttered. Then he turned a little to get comfortable and passed out. Unable to help myself, I bent down and kissed him on the temple.
I got the trash bucket out of the downstairs bathroom and set it by him, just in case. I left a tall glass of water and two Excedrin on the coffee table for when he woke up.
I made my way upstairs and not going to lie, it was nice to sleep in my bed. It smelled the way it should.
I got under the covers and thought about what had happened.
One thing he was right about. Kissing Jake was the best thing.
It was really sad to think that might have been the last kiss we would ever share.
One he might not even remember.
Twelve
