Page 15 of The Lover
“You’re making it out like he hasn’t given me enough. When he’s given me… everything.”
“What he gave you was a divorce,” Denny said flatly. “Only to turn around two months later and tell you not to date anyone while he works out his own shit. That’s not everything. That’s selfish as hell.”
Jake knew that. He’d said as much.
I was so excited by the idea he cared enough to stop me from moving on, I didn’t really think about everything he didn’t say.
That he missed me. That he wanted us to have an actual relationship. That he wanted me to come home.
I threw my hands up in the air. “I was feeling great. Thanks for ruining everything, guys!”
Denny and Maryanne smiled sadly at me and Denny reached over to pat me on the hand. “That’s what friends are for.”
* * *
Jake
Sunday night
Ellieand I had been chatting for a while when it occurred to me that April was around the corner.
“Hey, what do you want for your birthday?” I asked.
“You,” she answered.
I closed my eyes and tried not to imagine what that would be like. Because if I did I would end up hard and frustrated, like I did most times when I thought about Ellie.
“I get it,” she quickly added while I was busy trying not to imagine her naked and in my bed. “You’ve got the ranch and everything. It’s spring and things are busy. My birthday falls in the middle of the week, so that would make it even harder. Anyway, you always think of something great. You’ll have to surprise me.”
I did like to do that. To surprise her on her birthday.
“It’s late,” she said. “I should probably go.” There was something there in her voice. A hint of sadness. Or maybe it was longing.
I could appreciate it, because I felt it too.
“Yeah. Night, Ellie.”
I ended the call and thought about how she sounded different. Not her normal cheery self. Since we had agreed to this ridiculous limbo, she hadn’t brought up the question of us again. We talked about school, which I felt like there was something she wasn’t telling me about. We talked about the ranch. She told me crazy stories about Denny and funny ones about Maryanne.
I asked her if she was okay handling the ranch bookkeeping along with the schoolwork.
Pedantic, dry-as-hell stuff.
Stuff that two people who were in a relationship would share with each other. Except we weren’t in a relationship. We weren’t out of one, either.
Either way, I wasn’t getting laid.
I closed my eyes and tried again not to think about it. Tried not to remember what it had felt like kiss her, to hold her. To have her.
It was after seven and I needed to get out of my head. Pete’s wouldn’t be packed on a Sunday night, but there would be someone who could distract me from the running image of Ellie on her knees in my shower, sucking my dick.
Because that one got a lot of air time.
I got to Pete’s and found a stool near the bar. Pete gave me a chin nod, and a few minutes later walked over with the draft beer I always ordered.
“What’s happening, Jake? Haven’t seen you around.”
“Busy. The usual.”
