Page 2 of The Lover
“You’ll be fine.”
He was placating me. “I don’t want to do fine, I want to do really well.”
“You’ll do that then.”
It had been like this for the entire ride. Me chatting nervously, Jake being Jake.
I had no idea what he was thinking. If he was sad, relieved… heartbroken.
I was sad. I was nervous. I wasn’t heartbroken though.
I guess it was because I didn’t really see this as an end. Like we weren’t quite at the conclusion of our story, but still in the middle of it.
Was it the sex that gave me hope?
I didn’t know. The sex had somehow changed us. It was there. This tangible thing that happened. That we had done together. We were altered, and yet the same. It was just that one time. Neither one of us, I think, wanted to keep doing it. It would only make leaving that much harder.
I knew leaving was necessary. I had to go, if only so we could both see clearly what we wanted. Not going to lie, now that I was in the truck, heading away from the ranch, it was starting to dawn on me how truly hard this was going to be.
Finally we got to Missoula and then the university. I had the address for my dorm and Jake carried up all my stuff, mumbling I had brought too much. My scales were carefully packed in a box I kept in the back seat of the truck because I didn’t want to risk their safety.
It was the last thing to be carried up, which I could do myself.
I set the box down next to me and waited for Jake to realize the same thing. It was done. I was here, and there was nothing left to do except say goodbye.
“I don’t know how to do this, Ellie. So I won’t.”
I nodded. I didn’t know how to do this either. For the last two years Jake had been the center of my existence. The cause of all my happiness and all my pain. The idea of saying goodbye to him was unacceptable but inevitable too.
“You’ll call? Check in?”
I nodded.
He nodded back. I watched him get in his truck. I heard the engine start and realized this was happening.
“Jake!”
He rolled down the window with a look that saidthis had better be good,because Jake was not a guy who liked dramatic farewells.
“We’ve got this. Right?”
He nodded again and I smiled.
I watched as he pulled away. Stayed there the whole time until his truck was out of sight.
Then I picked up my scales, looked up at my new home, and got ready to start my new life.
* * *
Three weeks later
It was Sunday. I sat back on my bed in my dorm room and hit Jake’s name on my cell.
He answered on the first ring.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey back. How are things going?”
