Page 12 of The Lover
What I didn’t know was what it meant for us going forward?
Was it a question of now that we had crossed the line I thought I had permission to touch her?
Or was she just fucking hot and I liked her a lot, so why not kiss her?
Whatever it was, it wasn’t simple. I didn’t think it ever would be between me and Ellie.
* * *
Ellie
March
Iwas in the library, trying to focus on what I was reading, but every two seconds the feeling of Jake reaching for me in his truck would overtake me, and I would think about that instead. Maryanne, Denny, and I had analyzed that kiss from every different angle, but at the end of the day the only person who could explain what he’d done, why he’d done it, was Jake.
Did he want me? Did he miss me? Did he want us to be something other than what we were? No one in the universe could explain what we were.
I pulled out my phone and thought,what if I just called him now?It was Thursday, just after four in the afternoon. Not our normal call at our normal time. What if he answered and was happy that I called? What if he answered and was grumpy that I called because I had broken what had become a pattern for us?
It wasn’t hard to figure out that Jake liked consistency. Probably not all that shocking, given his upbringing. A mother who ditched him, a father who basically did the same by drinking himself to death.
Still, what if I challenged the norm? What if I broke our pattern? What if…
“Hey.”
I looked up, expecting to see someone I knew, but instead it was a guy who I had seen before on campus. He was cute, with dark hair and some chin scruff. I figured my age or a year or two older. I knew him because he’d randomly asked me out when he saw me in the campus bookstore. At the time it had freaked me out.
“Hey,” I answered back.
He must have taken that as an open invitation, because he took a seat across from me at the table.
“What are you studying?”
“Right now, nothing. I should be reading about statistics.”
He snorted. “Statistics are boring.”
“Yep.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. This was something having been Weird Married Ellie I’d missed out on. I had had a boyfriend before Jake. I had attempted to flirt with guys before Jake. I had even tried to have sex with someone before Jake (AKA The Great Prom Debacle).
But for the last few years it had been all about Jake. Whatever flirting muscle I had was obviously out of shape, because not only did I have no idea how to talk to a strange guy, I had no idea if I even wanted to.
“I’m Kevin.”
“I’m Ellie.”
He smiled. “I know who you are.”
Okay. “How?”
“I asked. I wanted to know the name of the girl who shot me down.”
That sounded smug. Like no other girl had ever dared. “See, and I thought it was strange you would ask a girl out without knowing her name first.”
“Touché.”
Also smug, I thought.
“I know your name now,” he said pointing out the obvious. “What do you say we grab some food?”
