Page 14 of The Lover
“You going to school was supposed to be about having choices, and I’m taking that away.”
“You’re a horrible person, Jake Talley.”
I scowled at the phone because she wasn’t taking any of this seriously. In fact, she sounded like she was beaming.
“I’m serious, Ellie. I don’t know if this is the right answer.”
“I don’t think there is a right answer, Jake. Have you thought about someone else? About seeing someone else?”
“No.”
No. I only thought of Ellie. Or at least I tried real hardnotto think of her. Which had to mean something. I was willing to admit that to myself at least.
“Then let’s call this limbo. We’re not dating each other. We’re not dating other people. We’re taking our time with things. We were married for two years, seems right we should have some time to consider all that.”
I nodded. That seemed reasonable. We didn’t have to commit to anything right now. Because when I thought about it, that’s all Ellie and I had ever done. Commit to the marriage, commit to the divorce. Hard choices at every turn, when all I wanted was a little easy.
“Yes. Right. Limbo. Until we can sort out what this is.”
“Okay. Then we’re good. I’ll call you next week?”
“Yes.”
“Night, Jake.”
“Night, Ellie.”
I disconnected the call and thought limbo might just the best idea we had ever had.
Four
Ellie
The next day
“We’re in limbo.”
Denny scrunched up his face and Maryanne rolled her eyes. We were having lunch together in the cafeteria as I filled them in on my confrontation with Jake.
“Limbo?” Denny said. “What is that?”
“We’re not ready to date each other, but we’ve agreed not to see other people.” I thought it was the best idea ever.
“So you’re trapped,” Maryanne said.
“No. Trapped is what Jake was in our marriage. Trapped is what circumstance and a really bad storm did to us. This is a choice.”
I could tell they weren’t buying it.
“Guys, this is real progress. Jake is finally admitting he has enough feelings for me that he doesn’t want me going out with other guys. This is huge!”
They looked at each other and I could tell they didn’t share my excitement.
“What am I missing?”
“Don’t you deserve more than that?” Maryanne asked.
Huh. I never really considered that. It had always been so clear for me about what I wanted, which was Jake, that I never thought about what I deserved.
