Page 16 of The Lover
“How’s Ellie? She liking college?”
I didn’t know. She liked her friends, but she never seemed overly thrilled with her classes. “She’s doing fine. Grades are up.”
“Miss having her around here. She was always a ray of sunshine. Not going to lie, I thought it was a shame when I heard you two decided to split.”
I set my beer down carefully. “Our marriage was a temporary arrangement. Thought everyone knew that.”
“Yeah, but look at what she grew into.”
That had me seeing red, and I did the thing I swore I would never do. Asked the question I swore I would never ask. Not a to single soul in Riverbend.
“Pete, do you think I was messing around with her the whole time we were together?”
His reaction was to bark out a laugh. “Jake Talley, you would have cut off your dick before taking advantage of Ellie after Sam died. I know that. All I’m saying is after graduation, when you two were in here that night… she was a woman then. Not a girl any longer. Thought you might see that too, but given how you two grew up together maybe not. I know this. Any man in this town would be lucky to call Ellie Samson his wife, and I know a lot of people think you’re a damn fool for having that privilege only to give her up. I’ll leave you to your beer and company.”
Only I didn’t want my company. I wanted Ellie’s company.
I thought I had been so damn strong by letting her go. So damn self-sacrificing. Giving her a chance to grow and experience new things. To really have a choice about her future.
But I hadn’t let her go at all. Not really.
Only I wasn’t sure enough of myself, or her, to do a damn thing to change that.
“Limbo,” I told the bar as I took deep gulp of my beer, “blows.”
* * *
It wasmorning and sun was streaking through the barn. I stared hard at Petunia, not for one second believing I was going to do this. I started with an apple slice, which she eagerly accepted, nearly taking my fingers with it.
“Ellie says I need to talk to you.”
Petunia huffed and lifted her head. Which, sure, could have seemed like a response, but was probably more of an effort to get another apple slice.
I gave her another one.
“It’s not as if I’ve never talked to Wyatt… Usually it’s just commands, though. It’s not like he needs chit chat, you know what I’m saying?”
Another huff.
I stroked her nose, and as strange as it was it made me feel closer to Ellie. As if by touching something I knew she loved, it connected us in some way.
“I’m guessing you miss her too. Who wouldn’t? All that life. All that energy. All of her spirit. I think that’s what’s been missing in her voice the last few times we talked on the phone. It’s like being away from here, she’s lost part of herself. But it was her choice to go away, her decision—all of it. It’s not like I can tell her to come home. She’s got to make that call on her own. Right?”
“Jake, I hate to interrupt your… conversation, but I need to take Petunia out and clean her stall.”
I heard Rich behind me, but my face was too red to actually turn around and face him. “Yep. I was just… Ellie wanted me to…”
“No explanation necessary. No better listener than a horse, in my opinion.”
I fed Petunia my last apple slice and then started to make my way out of the barn.
“Not my place,” Rich said, almost more to himself than directed at me. “But if I was missing someone, seems to me the easy thing would be to just go see her.”
Just go see her. It wasn’t the worst idea.
Five
Ellie
