Page 16 of The Baby
“Ours,” I corrected her. Yes, it was true. She was the one who got sick, she was the one who was going to get huge, and she was the one who was going to have to pop the kid out, but this was part of me too. She needed to realize that. So she could share theburden.
“Ours,” sherepeated.
Eventually, Bernie made her way back to us. I only got some of my Coke splashed on my shirt, so I called it a success. We put our orders in for burgers and fries and sat backtowait.
Then Ellie started to fidget. I could tell by the way she was ripping up the straw wrapper into tiny pieces something was on her mind. Something not good. Ellie only ripped up the straw wrapper when she was nervous aboutsomething.
“Whatisit?”
She lookedatme.
“Ellie, I know when you have something you want to say, but are afraid to say it. So whatever is going through that head of yours just lay itonme.”
“I was thinking about something. It’s crazy and you’re probably going to be mad, but I just keep going back toitand…”
“Goahead.”
“It’s about yourmother.”
I flinched. Thoughts of my mother were never pleasant. Which is why I did my best to never think abouther.Ever.
“Whatabouther?”
“Have you considered that she will be the… you know…” She patted herstomach.
“The baby,” I said bluntly. Because I was getting tired of this avoidance crap and now I was annoyed we were talking about mymother.
“She’ll be the only living grandparent. The only blood relative we have between us, beside my aunt, who wasn’t there for me even when mydaddied.”
“No,” I said carefully. “She.Won’t.”
“Jake…”
“No,” I repeated maybe a little too curtly, but I had gone from annoyed to pissed. We were in public so I couldn’t express that like I normally would have. Probably why Ellie waited until we were here to spring this on me. I took a breath and made my point crystalclear.
“That woman is not my mother. That woman is not my child’s grandparent. That woman is nothing to me. Certainly notfamily.”
She sighed. She couldn’t have expected any other reaction. “I just think… I mean maybe we should at least find out where she is. So we know.Incase.”
I nearly saw red. “Ellie, I don’t give a fuck where she is. And there is no reason for us to know anythingabouther.”
“But it’s just us, Jake,” sheprotested.
“Yes, Ellie. It’s always been just us. We got this,remember?”
Slowly shenodded.
“This topic is closed.Indefinitely.”
She pursed her lips. Ellie didn’t do well with direct orders, but I was hardcore about this. My mother was not a topic of discussion. The less I thought about her existence thebetter.
Eventually, she noddedagain.
Our burgers came and we had the distraction of food to cover up the fact that we weren’t talking to eachother.
I hated not talking to Ellie, and the fact that she even brought up the subject of my mother meant she had some fucked-up shit spinning around in her head. I had thought once she was the past the first trimester things would change, but it was starting to become obvious this was more than just a fear of amiscarriage.
Ellie was afraid of something much biggerthanthat.
