Page 21 of The Baby
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Ellie
“Jake! You home?”I was sure he was, as it was getting late. Hours shortened on the ranch along with the sungoingdown.
I came in through the back door, pulled off my jean jacket and hung it on a peg. Then kicked off my new clogs by the back door. I liked them because they were easier to slide into and out of than my boots, when bending down was just beginning to get annoying. Leave it to Jake to think of that. One day I woke up and they were just sitting there waitingforme.
I headed into thekitchen.
“I’m calling this an eight day,” I said as I made my way toward the kitchen counter that held my scales. I stacked another disk to the right side of the scale and smiled. “Because, while I didn’t actually do it, I did think about getting up on Petunia again. That has to be progress right? Wanting to actually ride. I’m going to check with Dr. Jenkinsagain…”
“Shut up. Shut up and stoptalking.”
Slowly I turned around. I had known Jake Talley all my life and never once had he ever told me shut up in that tone of voice. Like hemeantit.
I looked at his face and it was all there. Rage, like I had never seen. He’d meant every word. He wanted me toshutup.
“What’s happening right now?” Iwhispered.
“What’s happening right now is this,” he said, his tone deadly cold as he held out the envelope. “Who the fuck is River Hatch and why is he investigating mymother?”
My stomach dropped as soon as I saw the envelope. I bit my bottom lip. “I was going to tell youaboutthat...”
“Were you? Forgive me if I don’t believe that. Because if I recall, when you do shit like this we never talk about it beforehand. Only when it’s done. When you arranged for the divorce and the money. When you quit school. And every time you did that, you were always,It’s my life, Jake. I can do what I want.Well this is MY FUCKING LIFE, ELLIE! MINE! And you had no fucking business reaching out to thiswoman.”
I was panting and tears were already coming, but he had to listen to me. He had to listen to why Ididthis.
“I know you’remadbut…”
“Mad? Mad! I’m heartbroken. Betrayed by the one person who is supposed to love me. My damn wife! You knew how I felt about this. You knew and did this anyway, and you didn’t give a shit about me while you weredoingit.”
“No, no. That’s not true. I know this looks bad, but you wouldn’t even listen to me when I tried to bring it up before,” I pleaded. “And I was scared because she’s the onlyfamily…”
“Do not refer to that woman as family,” he sneered. “Scared of what?Tellme.”
“I tried to tell you, and you wouldn’t listen. You never do when it comes to yourmother.”
He charged a step toward me and instinctively I stepped back. It wasn’t that I had any thought he would hurt me. Instead it was the force of his anger that had mecringing.
“Oh no you don’t,” he said. “You don’t get to make this about me and my issues. This is all about you and whatever it is you are so fuckingafraidof!”
“Because what if something happens to us?” I screamed at him. I had to make him understand this was bigger than just us. Bigger than his feelings toward his mother. Bigger than anything. “What if I die and you die? What if our baby is alone in this world and there is no magical Jake Talley to come in and save the day! What if we abandon this child… I couldn’tbearit.”
“You think I would let that happen?” This time there was more pain in his voice than anger. If possible it was even more upsetting to me to hear it. “You think I haven’t thought of all of that? Of our will, of the people in our lives who we might want to raise ourchild?”
“I thought… she should at least know, and if she reached out to us and was a differentperson...”
“There will be NO reaching out. She will have nothing to do with this child. She walked out on a fucking eleven-year-old. Is that the kind of person you want raising ourchild?”
No. It wasn’t. I hated her for what she’d done to Jake. But there was no one else for either of us that were blood related. Family is supposed to be family. It was supposed to be forever. But it hadn’t been for me. “Ijust…”
“Just what, Ellie? Didn’t trust me? Because I have to say, it sure as hell has felt that way for the last fucking five months. You didn’t trust me to tell me you were pregnant right away. You don’t trust me to fuck you. You won’t even let me touch your stomach! Who the fuck am I to you now? A sperm donor. The guy who is eventually going to die and abandonyourchild.”
“No, Jake… no.” He didn’t understand. I needed to explain itbetter.
“When?” he asked, deadly cold. “When did you stop believinginme?”
“I didn’t.” I shook my head, the tears so heavy in my throat I could barely swallow. “I would never. But… I trusted my dad too. And heleftme.”
