Page 80 of The Bodyguard
“You’re getting black coffee.”
I pouted. “You have to be nice to me. I was a kidnap victim and I have a broken heart. I can’t do that on black coffee.”
“Fine,” Bea sighed. “Don’t move.”
“Don’t plan on it.”
I had Romeo and coffee was being delivered. I had all I needed. It had been late when we got back to the condo. Walking had been a bitch, but once we were inside Bea had cleaned my feet with antiseptic and wrapped them up. When she’d asked me what I wanted to do with Garrett’s shirt, I told her to burn it. I knew if she put it in the trash I would just take it out of there and sleep with it under my pillow. So I could at least smell him.
God, I was so pathetic. I wasn’t sure what actually happened to the shirt, which was probably a good thing. Now I was settled on the couch, feeding Romeo, and planning to spend all day doing absolutely nothing except feeling sorry for myself.
I heard the door open and shut.
“I knew you were going to forget it,” I called out to Bea. “You need to write it down. Triple shot venti latte...”
My voice trailed off when Garrett walked into the living room.
“Brin, I said we were going to talk and I meant it.”
I don’t know what stunned me more. That he was standing here or that Ronnie had betrayed me. “She wouldn’t have done that to me,” I whispered. “She wouldn’t have let you come here…”
“Technically it wasn’t Ronnie, it was Clayton. And I think the reason he did it is because he knows what it’s like to fuck up, and he knows how hard it is to come back from that. Especially with a King sister.”
I pulled the tiny nipple out of Romeo’s mouth and he yowled, but then he settled down and went to sleep on my chest.
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” I said.
“Well, I’ve got plenty I need to say to you.” He sat on the couch, super careful not jostle me. “Brin, I fucked up. I was scared and I didn’t like what I was feeling and how you were changing things in my head. So I yelled at you and said I couldn’t be the man you wanted me to be when the truth was the opposite. I already was that man. The man who would worship at your feet. The man who loved you. Who loves you.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t let myself believe it. “You’re here because you feel guilty.”
His jaw tensed, like it did when he got angry. “I’m here because when I come inside of you, do you know what I think about? What I have thought about every time I did it? That maybe you forgot to take your pill that day. Or that you weren’t on any birth control at all. That I was filling you with myself so that we could make a baby together. That I could watch you get round with my son or daughter inside you. Every time.
“When Betty left, you know what I cared about? The humiliation. That was the number one thing I felt. Humiliated. Not crushed. Not devastated. But that humiliation…it broke me. I just knew I was never going to get over that. I certainly wasn’t going to put myself out there again. Then you came back to town and I started breaking every rule I made for myself. You turned this thing back on inside me. I wanted you, and I wanted babies, and I wanted your damn love. I wanted that so freaking badly, I panicked.”
“But why? You’ve always known I…had feelings for you.” My heart was pounding and it was like I was struggling to breathe. This couldn’t be real, right? This couldn’t be Garrett Pine saying all these things to me.
“Because I thought if I let myself go down that road with you and you left me waiting at the altar…”
I cupped his face in my palm. “I would never do that to you.”
He smiled and it felt so good under my hand. Like I could feel his happiness. “I know you wouldn’t. Because you always put me first. But I thought if I let myself love you, if I took that risk again and the real me didn’t live up to the fantasy me you’ve had in your head most of your life, I would be crushed. I would be devastated. And all that crazy fear just came spewing out. Just like it did that day five years ago when you told me the truth about Betty.”
“You were mad then.”
He nodded. “I was. You want to know why?”
“I know why.”
“You don’t. I wanted you, Brin. I walked into that high school office and saw you, and I thought, holy fuck that is the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world. And then you smiled at me and everything about you came through that smile and I thought…shit. That’s Sabrina King and I want her. I’m not allowed to do that because I’m engaged. So, yeah, you made me mad because you made me doubt myself.”
I smiled then. I really had put a lot of work into my outfit for prom night!
“I’m sorry she did that to you.”
“I’m not. I’m not sorry for one damn thing that has brought me to this moment. I love you, Brin. I’m going to fix what I broke and maybe someday you’re going to feel a quarter for me the way I feel about you. In the meantime, we’re going to start making babies so you can care for them as well as you do that cat.”
Garrett’s babies. With his green eyes and my sense of shoe fashion.
