Page 46 of The Bodyguard
“Butyousaid it.”
“I said it because I meant it. Hiring someone might be easier and better for both us.” Even if the idea made me cringe. Because now I could admit that the reason I didn’t like the idea of someone protecting her was because I wanted to do it.
“Is that what you want?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t. I want to do it. I want to protect you. Why? Because, let’s face it Brin, throughout your life I’ve done it the best. From bullies, from your father, your mother. Then you go off to LA and the next thing I know someone is stalking you.”
“You say it like it’s my fault!”
I did. Because all of it was her fault. Making me feel like I was about to jump out of my skin when she was around. Making me want to kiss her. Making me want to tear apart anyone who would even consider laying a hand on Sabrina King.
Sabrina King wasmine. She had been since she was eleven years old and was so damn enamored of me she could barely speak whenever she saw me.
Which was the problem. Because I didn’t want a woman again. Not in a serious way. I didn’t want all that came with it. To be with someone like that…there needed to be trust. I flat-out didn’t have it to give anymore.
“Your staying here makes sense. He won’t know to look for you here. A bodyguard wouldn’t give you that. Unless he took you to some remote place and locked you up for a while.”
“I didn’t want to do that,” she said even as she sucked barbecue sauce off a finger. An act that wasn’t helping the whole I-can’t-kiss-her thing. “I wanted to come home. Help Ronnie with the wedding.”
“Then you stay here,” I said, taking another sip of beer. “Everyone else thinks you’re at The King’s Land. You need to come into town, you find me first and I’ll set you up with a detail. Either myself or a deputy.”
“Even though you want to kiss me.”
“Yes. Even though. Because here is the thing, Brin. I won’t.”
“Oh.”
Was that disappointment? Did she look disappointed?
“Because you don’t like me,” she assumed. “Not really.”
“Wrong. Because I do like you. But I don’t want to like another woman again. Not one I’m fucking.”
She scrunched up her nose. “So you’re neverwithwomen?”
I laughed, shaking my head. “I fuck women, Brin. I fuck them and forget them. I obviously can’t do that with you. And since kissing you is only going to make me want to fuck you, no kissing. Get it?”
“How do you even know I want to kiss you?” she asked, flipping her hair back over her shoulder. Then she did that thing with her finger…the minus one.
I stood up from the deck chair where I was sitting and walked over to hers. I braced my hands on the armrests so she was essentially trapped. She looked up at me with those wide brown eyes. So dark, so filled with emotion all the time. It’s why I hated it when she wore sunglasses. I could see everything inside Brin as long as I could see her eyes.
I leaned and whispered into her ear. “You’ve wanted to kiss me for a very long time, Sabrina King. Are you saying now, after a mere five years, you no longer want that?”
I could hear the rush of her breath. I could see the way her pulse was beating in her neck. And when I pulled back it was there in her eyes. That look that made me, lowly Garrett Pine, a god.
“Maybe?”
I leaned down and took her mouth. It was a mistake. I knew it because it felt too damn good. Soft lips. She tasted like wine and barbecue sauce. When I pushed my tongue between her lips she gasped and the next thing I knew, her hands were in my hair. Like she couldn’t stop herself from touching me. Opening herself to me.
Slowly I pulled away. Then I straightened. “Yeah, I was right. Kissing you only makes me want to fuck you. So no more of that.”
She sighed and slumped a little in her chair. “You’re probably right. Kissing leads to sex and the truth is…well, the honest truth is I hate sex.”
It was like a punch to the solar plexus. And I was pretty sure it sealed my fate. Because there was no way in hell I wasn’t now bound and determined to make Sabrina King not hate sex.
“Why do you hate sex?” Which was probably the worst question to ask someone when you were trying to avoid the topic.
“I know everybody says it’s the greatest thing. But I think all those romance novels I read as a teenager were total horseshit. At best it’s been uncomfortable, and at worst it has really hurt.”
It was like I could feel the red haze of fury over take my eyes. “Someone hurt you during sex?”
“Only with his penis,” she said, like that didn’t count. “I had this idea that I might be gay. And the producers on the show thought that would be awesome for ratings. They did this whole set-up for me to kiss a woman for the first time, and I realized that I wasn’t into that, either. I mean, I’m pretty sure you should be attracted to the same sex if you’re gay.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s how it works,” I muttered. Naturally, I still wanted to know the asshole who had hurt her with this penis so I could rip it the fuck off his body.
Except Brin stood and started clearing our plates to take them back to the kitchen. I moved to get the sliding glass door for her, still at a loss as to what to say.
She stopped and smiled. “You were right. I did always want to kiss you. I’m glad I got to. Even if it was just once.” She pecked me on the cheek and breezed back inside.
I watched her scrape plates and load the dishwasher like she hadn’t just altered my life irrevocably.
