Page 27 of Elijah's Hope
It would have been rude to mess up his plans by leaving early.
Oh my god ,you’re such a liar! You just want him to kiss you again and make you feel like you’re special. You’re not! You already know exactly what you are!
This time, my whole face must have scrunched up.
“You okay?”
I heard the crackled sound through my headphones. I turned to Eli and cleared my head of anything but this absolute moment. I started to talk but he reminded me I had to hit the button on the side of the microphone near my mouth so he would hear me.
“I want to stay up here forever!” I shouted. “It’s so beautiful.”
He smiled and took my hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss. I thought he was beautiful, too. His smile, his generosity, his patience.
It wasn’t fair. There was no defense against a guy like Eli. How was I supposed to not fall for him?
Because everything you are to him is a lie. He’s not falling for you, he’s falling for her.
Yes! I knew that, but he didn’t.
My bad angel challenged my logical self.
What if I just stay here forever?
How would anyone find me?
What if I could become the person he thought I was?
My logical self was not having it.
You still believe in fairy tales when you know they are not true. Grow up!
The noise crackled in my ear again shaking me out of my thoughts.
“I guess now that we’re in the air I can tell you where we’re going. I wasn’t sure how you would feel about another plane trip, but this is the only way to get to Nome.”
“I like flying!” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to shout when I was in his ear, but I wanted him to know I wasn’t afraid of anything. Not flying, not fishing, not him.
I thought back to last night. If he only knew how close I had been to letting go. To letting myself have what I wanted. To, in fact, take what I wanted. And what I wanted, in the worst way, was him.
I wanted his mouth and his ridiculously hard, movie-star-fit body. Which was only hotter because I knew he hadn’t spent hours with a fitness coach getting pretend muscles. His body was sculpted from hard work.
I wanted to know I was with a man who would treat me right. Who thought about my pleasure before his.
Beyond all that I wanted to know what it would feel like to belong to someone I truly admired and respected. Who thought the same thing about me. Or the me he knew.
“What’s in Nome?” I asked him.
“Some of the best river fishing around. Not to mention a change of scenery. You must be pretty tired of Bud’s place.”
“I like Bud’s place. I like my cabin. I like Hope’s Point.” That might have been laying it on a little thick, but I didn’t want him to think I was in any hurry to leave when I wasn’t.
He laughed. “Nice try. No one likes Hope’s Point. We just live there.”
The airplane dipped hard right and my hold on my armrests and Eli tightened.
“We’re all right. Doogie is just bringing us around to land.”
I nodded. Eli seemed so calm I didn’t see any point in being worried myself. It was this crazy feeling like he wouldn’t let anything bad ever happen to me. Which was the stupidest damn feeling alive.
