Page 20 of Jackson's Redemption
We continued hiking for a while until Jackson stopped and pointed. We had finally reached the cabin. It was tucked into a cluster of trees and if he hadn’t been pointing to it, I might have walked right by it without even realizing it was there. It was small and probably going to be a tight space given the size of both of us.
“Are there two beds?”
“One. I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“We can swap. I don’t mind sleeping in a sleeping bag.”
“We’re not going to swap, Kate.”
I huffed. “You know you’re a little difficult to nail down. Part of you is this grunting, half-bear-half-caveman type person who lifts women with his strong hands. Then there is this other side of you that’s pretty chivalrous.”
He stopped again and faced me. “We’re not going to swap because I figure we’ll be sharing after the first night.”
I glared at him. “Look, I was really honest with you about where I am emotionally. I can’t worry about you trying to seduce me or anything.”
He shook his head. “This has nothing to do with me, Kate. I’m not going to seduce you. Wouldn’t know how. I certainly can’t be accused of being charming.”
“Then why are you saying stuff like we’re going to be sharing a bed.”
He moved into my space and dipped his head. All I would have to do is lean up on my toes to kiss him.
“I’m saying it because you need me, Kate. Last night I gave you hard, because you needed that. Tonight, you’ll resist that need out of sheer stubbornness. By tomorrow I figure you’re going to want the sweet. I’ll give you that, too.”
I shook my head. “Don’t bet on it.”
“I only bet on cards and Olivia and Ark.”
“Who are Olivia and Ark?”
“Two people who want to fuck each other so bad they can’t stand it. Only neither one of them is going to admit it. Our crew has got a bet to see who breaks first and when.”
I was intrigued despite myself. “Is Olivia another woman from the contest you ran?”
“No. She works for Dyson.”
“Is that allowed, then? Two co-workers having an affair?”
He grunted. “It doesn’t work that way in life. Rules about who you can and can’t fuck sound good. The reality is attraction, connection can’t be governed by rules. It has a will of its own.”
This time I grunted. “Is that why you think I’ll cave, because of attraction and connection? Then you are sorely wrong. Because I’ve learned all that stuff is fleeting. It can be gone in a second depending on the circumstances. What matters is the real stuff. Trust, friendship, companionship.”
“Kate, I know what I felt last night. I know what you felt because you fucking screamed my name loud enough to clear the wildlife for miles. You’re going to need it again and when you do, I’ll give it to you. Doesn’t have to becomplicated.”
“Spoken like a man who doesn’t understand the nuance of feelings,” I muttered. “I’m leaving in two weeks. I have no choice about that. I don’t want to feel like I’m leaving anything behind.”
“I can’t control how you feel, Kate.”
“Why do you do that?” I asked him. “Why do you keep using my name? I feel like you use it every time you speak to me.”
“I like it. I like saying it. Come on, I want to get the cabin set up and grab some lunch. Then we can head out with a lighter load.”
He liked saying my name. Shit. Why did I like that he liked it?
Do not fall for this guy. Do not fall for this guy.
I wasn’t. I couldn’t. I was absolutely certain after watching my life fall apart, I had nothing left to give anybody.
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