Page 11 of Jackson's Redemption
“I appreciate the offer. But the deal was all expenses paid.”
I squirmed in my seat. The idea of that made me a little uncomfortable. I wasn’t here for any reason other than to escape my life, yet here he was ready to wine me and dine me—even if it was with fish tacos and beer—as a part of some romantic gesture.
I took a drag of beer for some liquid courage. I had to tell him the truth.
“I feel like I have to be honest with you.”
He took a swig of his beer in return and as he did, I watched his Adam’s apple bob along his thick, muscled neck. I also couldn’t help but notice his furred forearms where he’d pushed up the sleeves of the Henley he was wearing.
Strong. Everything about him exuded that strength. From his thick neck and his thick arms to his heavy thighs.
What would going to bed with him be like? And wow, it had been five months since I’d had the semblance of a sexual thought.
“You’re pretty ripped for a guy who takes soil samples,” I said in lieu of what I wanted to say.
Or what I thought I wanted to say. I thought I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t here to lead him on. That I was in no position to even think about a romantic entanglement. Five months removed from personal tragedy and I was still just a shell of a human being.
Commenting on his body then, had probably been the wrong direction to take. The words just popped out of my mouth.
“I chop a lot of wood.”
I imagined him with an ax in his hand, his biceps bulging as he split logs. Then I imagined him doing that shirtless. Sweat dripping down his pecs.
I shifted in my chair.It’s the beer and the jet lag, I thought. My inhibitions were lowered. I needed to keep my focus.
“Actually,” I swallowed. “What I wanted to say was that…I don’t know…I’m not in a place in my life right now to— My father died.”
There that made it easier. Shorthand forany thought of starting a relationship is off the table.
“Sorry for your loss.”
It was strange but, in that moment, he seemed more remote to me. Like he’d put distance between us that hadn’t been there a second ago. Which probably made sense since he must have understood that this couldn’t go anywhere.
The weird part was I didn’t like it.
“It’s not really something I can talk about, but I had to let you know… I guess I wasn’t sure where you were thinking all this would lead.”
He shook his head. “Didn’t think about that.”
“Then what did you think about?”
“Thought it would be nice to date you.”
He didn’t blink. Didn’t stutter. Just put it out there like that made all the sense in the world.
“Why me?”
He shrugged. “Liked your profile. Liked your picture.”
“You’re okay, then, with this just being some casual fun?”
“Yep.”
So maybe it was the beer or the jet lag but I didn’t care. Sitting in front of me was this smoking hot guy who had no expectations of me and no illusions I had to be anything other than what I was.
The reality was I wanted him.
“Then what do you say—” my voice sounded low and throaty then. Suggestive even to my ears. “—we get out of here and go back to my cabin for some more…fun?”
