Page 24 of Jackson's Redemption
But of course, I couldn’t kill him. Because he was shot in the head, execution style by some gang member. Too damn easy, if you ask me. I would have made him hurt.
Only Kate was left, and she was right where I wanted her to be.
“I’m talking about a guilty pleasure. That thing you do, you know you’re not supposed to, but you do it anyway.”
I couldn’t tell her, of course. Not the truth.
Kate. Kate was my guilty pleasure.
5
The next day
Kate
“Knock, knock.”
“I’m not doing this,” he insisted.
“They are jokes. They are supposed to make you laugh. Did you hear the one about the sidewalk?” I waited a beat. “It was all over town. See, you’re smiling. I see you smiling.”
He shook his head, but it had been too late. I had made him smile. I took great pleasure in that achievement.
We walked for a bit west of the cabin. Jackson had found what was day-old bear poop so there was a hope we might catch up with him. As we wandered about, I had my camera in my hand, ready to shoot if we stumbled upon anything. I noticed Jackson, too, would stop every once in a while and bend down to pick up a rock.
Each one he studied like it was some rare bug he was seeing for the first time.
“What kind of degree do you have to have to be a mud logger?” I asked.
He paused for a beat then said, “I have a degree in geology.”
“Hmm. You certainly don’t look like a geologist.”
“What should they look like?”
“I don’t know. Nerdy. With glasses and pocket protectors. Not that I know any. In fact, you’re only the second person I’ve ever met who wanted to be a geologist. What got you into it?”
He shrugged but kept his back to me. “Don’t know. It was just always there. Who was the other person you knew who wanted to be a geologist?”
“Just some kid I went to high school with. In fact, I don’t know if he ever did become one, I just remember him talking about it and it stuck with me. Because it was weird, you know. Like he was so sure of what his future was going to be. I don’t know that I’ve ever been that sure of anything in my life.”
He turned toward me then with a scowl. “Haven’t you always wanted to be a cop?”
I shook my head. “No, that was something Dad wanted for me. I had a hard time admitting that for a while, but it was true. He wasn’t one of those fathers who regretted having a daughter instead of son. He liked me for who I was. But he thought the force was everything. And in the town where we lived, he was the king. Why wouldn’t his daughter want to come live in his kingdom? Don’t get me wrong, I liked my job. I liked helping people… I just didn’t have the passion he did. Or what I thought was passion. Like what I’m guessing you have for geology.”
“And you really didn’t know what kind of cop he was?”
I lifted my hands. That sense of grief and guilt washing over me again. “I know. It’s impossible to believe but it’s true. No one back home believes me, either. I have no reason to lie to you, though. You’re a stranger—”
“Am I?” he interrupted.
He’d been inside me. He’d held my hand in the dark. No, I guess he wasn’t a stranger.
“No, you’re not now, are you? Anyway, no, I didn’t have a freaking clue until all the evidence was laid out in front of me. He’d been dirty for years, maybe the entire time he was a cop, and I didn’t get a chance to ask him why.”
I sighed, feeling again the frustration of that roll over me.
“Please don’t cry again. I don’t like it.”
