Page 52 of Noah's Reckoning
“What are you doing?” he shouted at me.
I pulled out the syrup and showed it to him. “Can’t have pancakes without syrup.”
“Liv! I’m trying to have a serious conversation here.”
I went back to my stool and sat. “I understand you’re upset—”
“Upset? I’m freaking the fuck out.” He came around the island and trapped me against it, his arms on either side of me, his chest pressing into my back. Then he bent and I could feel his breath on my ear. I tried not to shiver.
“Liv,” he said softly. “We’ve got…something here. You and I both know that. It’s like you said last night, it just keeps getting better. Why ruin that?”
I had to swallow another lump. “I don’t want to. But honestly, Noah, I don’t know what we have. Sure sex, I know that.”
“It’s more than sex,” he said. “I want to spend time with you in and out of bed. That’s not just sex.”
I swung around and cupped his scruffy cheeks in my hands.
“I know that’s a lot for you. I know it is. And I…Ilikeyou so much. I don’t want this to end right now either, but I also don’t know where it can go. So you can’t ask me to give up the chance of a baby, who might be the love of my life, for something you’re not really sure of either.”
He dipped his head and sighed.
When he raised it again, I could see the struggle in his eyes. “I can’t make you do something you don’t want to do.”
“Nope.”
He pulled away from me then. “I should go. I can’t…I need to think…I can’t…”
“You do what you need to do,” I said. Even though it made me sad he felt he needed to leave.
He made his way down the hallway to the bedroom and a few minutes later he was back with his overnight bag and his boots on.
“Sure you don’t want some pancakes before you leave? You went to all this effort,” I said, trying to keep my voice as light as possible.
He tossed his duffel bag on the floor like he was angry with it and came at me in a blink. His hand behind my neck, lifting me to his kiss. It was hard and maybe a little angry, but it was also Noah, so it was amazing.
“You drive me fucking crazy, Liv,” he said when he finally pulled away.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ll call you,” he said even as he grabbed his duffel and headed out the door. I didn’t ask him where he was going. He had a phone so he could Uber or a call a cab. I wasn’t even sure if he was heading back to Hope’s Point or would stay in Anchorage for the day like he planned.
He would call me. Which meant there was hope. I picked up the pill from where it still sat on the counter and tossed it down the garbage disposal. It was early, I could probably pull my shit together and make it into work. A remarkable recovery.
But Noah wanted me to play hooky and I really wasn’t ready to face anyone. So I went back to bed, threw the covers over my head and breathed in the scent of him. I wondered how long my bed would still smell like him. Probably not too long, whenever I next changed the sheets.
That’s when I started to cry.
* * *
Bud’s
Cal
“Cal,” Jackson called from across the table. I blinked wondering what his problem was. “It’s your move.”
Shit. I hadn’t been paying attention.
“Check,” I said, tapping the table. Not my normal move, but it was easier than trying to cover the fact I hadn’t been paying close attention to the game.
