Page 42 of Caleb's Salvation
Easier said than done.
“Caleb…”
“Hmm?”
“We sort of never talked about it.”
I had no clue where this was going. There were any number of things we probably should be talking about, but I figured I would let actions speak louder than words. It was easier that way, especially when I was the one who would probably have to eat crow.
“Talked about what?”
“Well, before I got sick…the last time I saw you…”
I’d kissed her. Kissed her then left her without a word, without any reason.
Now, things were different. It wasn’t that I felt any less guilt or grief. It wasn’t that I didn’t wish Sarah and Emily were alive and with me instead. It was only that I knew I could no longer change what was inevitable.
What had been inevitable really the moment Vivienne got off the plane. When her face and expression had hit me like a punch to the gut.
“Anyway,” she said when she must have understood I had nothing to say about it. “I didn’t know if we need to talk about it or not.”
No, we didn’t need to talk about it. Actions rather than words. I turned toward her and pulled her the rest of the way on top of my body. Her legs intermingling with mine, her hands planted firmly on my chest. I cupped her face and wished I could see her expression in the darkened cabin. Surprise probably. Anticipation certainly. Vivienne hadn’t been coy about her attraction to me. It had always been there. The way she looked at me, the way she worked not to touch me. The times she couldn’t resist, like when I smiled at her.
I kissed her. A gentle push against her mouth. A question I wanted answered. When she opened her mouth to my tongue I knew, I had my answer. Sweetness, softness, everything that was Vivienne with that edge that showed her strength. The sense that she wanted more than she was taking. That she was willing to let me lead as long as I took her where she wanted to go.
What did she even know about sex? I wanted to ask but I didn’t want to stop kissing her to find out. Five nights I’d cared for her. Five nights I’d slept next to her and it seemed like it was always supposed to end up this way.
I didn’t think about her age or my age. About why this shouldn’t be happening. About what it might mean to open myself up to the potential for more pain. I only knew I could no longer resist.
I’d only smiled at her once. This creature who’d pummeled through all my defenses. All my scowls. And still she didn’t shy away from me.
I rolled her underneath me, wanting to her to feel my weight. Wanting to press my cock against her middle so she would understand where this was going. That I was going to fuck her, that I was going to fuck for the first time in seven years because of her.
Only her.
“Caleb,” she whispered in breathy little pants even as I ran my hand up her thigh. So fucking soft. Cupping her ass, her cheek barely filled my palm.
“Caleb… Sam.”
Sam? Oh, the kid. I bent to whisper in her ear. “He’s fast asleep.”
“I know but…oh,” she moaned as I gently found her core and slid a single finger inside.
The heat. The fucking wet, delicious heat. I’d forgotten what this was, what this felt like. It felt like my head was going to explode I was so turned on. I kissed her again. I wanted my tongue in her mouth, my finger in her pussy.
I couldn’t actually fuck her. I didn’t have a condom, but making her come, hearing my name on her lips, would be satisfying enough.
“No, Caleb… I just can’t. Not with Sam.” She squirmed away from me but didn’t leave the bed.
I sighed and rolled onto my back. Then I sucked on the finger I’d just had deep inside her. Her quiet gasp filled the room.
Once she could see I didn’t plan to push her, she snuggled back against my side.
“I’m sorry. Maybe it seems silly…”
“Don’t worry about it. Sarah would never let me fuck her, either, when Emily was a baby and slept in our room.”
Her hand then reached out and dropped over my heart. I placed mine over it.
