Page 48 of Caleb's Salvation
“Vivienne,” I said, kissing her shoulder, running my hand along her side, over her belly. Fuck, she was so soft. “Vivienne.”
“Hmm?”
“Did I give you your first orgasm? When I went down on you?”
She wiggled her ass against my cock and if she did it again, I was going to get hard.
“Technically no.”
That was disappointing for some stupid reason.
“Your dream self gave me my first orgasm last night.”
I smiled. Something I didn’t do very often. She faced me then and she was smiling, too. She reached out to touch my lips and I knew it was because she liked to see me smiling at her rather than perpetually scowling at her.
“Orgasms are awesome,” she whispered.
I bent to kiss her lips. “Yes, they are. And they come in many ways. I plan to show you all of them.”
Her face scrunched up. “I’m not…I haven’t done much. Not even a blow job or anything. Dave tried to push my head down there once and truth was I just didn’t want to. Not with him by that point. If I’m being honest…I kind of didn’t like sex very much at all. Until now. This feels different.”
Because some asshole had taken her virginity without giving her an orgasm. Pushed her head, instead of letting her take the lead. I wanted to find him and end him, but I knew both things were impractical. Instead, I kissed her like she deserved to be kissed. Sweetly, softly. Like I had all the time in the world.
Her hand roamed my chest and I tried not to think about how good it felt. To be touched by someone. To feel present in my skin in a way I hadn’t for a long time. Then her hand wandered lower and I thought to stop her. To show her that sex wasn’t all about a man and his dick. It was about shared pleasure, mutual touching, each serving the other instead of one stealing something for himself.
But she was exploring so I let her. God, it felt good. Someone else’s hand on my dick. Soft, tentative fingers. Then bolder strokes. I didn’t guide her or instruct her because I didn’t care about getting off. I only wanted to be touched.
“Caleb, what’s married sex like?”
I frowned. “I’m not fucking talking about my sex life with my wife with you.”
Her hand pulled away.
“Fuck,” I said. “I didn’t mean to be harsh…it’s just not something I’m going to talk about.”
“I didn’t mean with Sarah. I’m not trying to compete with her. I would never do that. I just meant in general. Is it different when you’re married?”
Right, because it couldn’t be a competition. There was no such thing in my mind. Sex with Sarah had been awesome back then. Sex with Vivienne had been awesome now. Different maybe because I’d been so desperately needy, but also there was this sense that I had to be more careful with her. More patient. More gentle. All of those things I hadn’t been the first time.
Which should have been bothersome. I was a grown man who hadn’t fucked in years. Now that I’d given myself permission, all I wanted to do was fuck. Fuck her like a damn rabbit in every hole she’d let me. But that wasn’t what she needed and in making myself calm down, in putting her needs before mine, that was its own kind of tease.
I thought about her question. I thought about what I needed to do to get her to start touching me again. Because suddenly, I needed her touch desperately.
“Married sex is about openness. Once you’re married, that’s it. You’ve basically picked your person. So anything you want to do or try it’s going to be with that person. Which means everything is on the table.”
“Everything?”
I snorted. “Everything.” There was something there. Something in the silence that had me wondering. “Vivienne, is there something you want to try?”
Her hand was back. On my chest, over my stomach, brushing my cock. I spread my thighs to give her access to my balls. Fuck, that felt good. Her fingers lightly tapping over them.
“I told you things were very restricted for me growing up. Sex…even the concept of it wasn’t discussed or considered. The expectation was that I was supposed to remain a virgin until marriage. The end.”
I started to do my own touching. My finger across her collar bone. My palm cupping her full breast. Her nipple was puckered and hard, and I pinched it between my fingers. When I did, her hand circled around my cock and tugged.
“But you’re stubborn and a fighter. You told me so. So what did you do to get around those restrictions?”
Another pause. “I told you, I read books.”
