Page 57 of Caleb's Salvation
He stopped and looked at me. I didn’t look away. But then he started moving again without a word so my only choice was to follow him.
Eventually, we reached my cabin. “I’ll take Sam now.”
“Open the door, Vivienne. I’ll put him down.”
I knew it wasn’t an argument I was going to win. I only thought to re-establish some boundaries between us. Of course, he wasn’t having it.
I opened the door and stepped back to let him inside. He quietly made his way to the crib where he laid Sammy down then stripped him of his snow gear. My good baby was so knocked out, he didn’t make a peep the whole time.
A good baby who would turn into a boy one day then eventually into a man. And getting him to that point was my responsibility. Ensuring that he was good and kind. Strong and resourceful. Alaska would help with that. Still, it was an awesome task I understood could be made easier with the help of a strong man to show Sam the way.
I also knew Caleb said he wanted no part of any of that.
Which made it so hard to watch when he carefully pulled the blanket over Sam and leaned his hand in to rest it against his forehead as if checking again for fever.
“He’s getting big,” Caleb said quietly. “He’ll outgrow the crib soon enough.”
I nodded. “I know. I’m saving for one of those car beds.”
“That will be tight in this cabin,” he said as he looked around the place.
“We’ll get by,” I said tightly. “We’re not leaving if that’s what you’re suggesting.”
He shook his head. “No, I know.”
“Talk to me, Caleb,” I said, walking over to where he was again staring at Sam. “I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”
“You can’t help me,” he said tightly. “You know you can’t.”
I reached out to rub his back in small circles. A gesture I realized had become as familiar to me these past few months as touching Sam. “I think you’re wrong. I think I could help you if you would let me. We both could.”
He jerked then as if I’d struck him.
“I have to go.”
I nodded, expecting nothing less. “You can keep running, Caleb, but just so you know Sam and I aren’t going anywhere.”
He left and I was right. The bed was particularly cold without him.
15
Vivienne
I opened the cabin door as I heard Eve pull up outside. I gave her a wave to let her know I was coming and went to get Sammy, who was already dressed for the weather.
“Are you ready for your play date?” I said as I lifted him into my arms with a bounce. “You’re going to be with Zeke Jr. today!”
I don’t know if he understood me, but the tone of my voice must have alerted him to the idea that fun was to be had today. He babbled and tried to put his mitten in his mouth only to spit out when he realized it didn’t taste very good. I laughed because I was pretty sure Sam was the funniest baby on earth. And he liked that I did because he laughed, too.
We’re blessed, I thought. To have each other. To have this place. To have come from that shitty motel room and that women’s shelter teeming with sad, desperate mothers with their sad, lost children.
Stupid luck that day in the library. Seeing the ad at all. And then here we were. I nuzzled his neck, but he pushed my face away.
“Noonnonammmamm.”
It sounded a lot likeno, mamma, but I knew he wasn’t there yet. Still. “Are you saying I can’t give my baby boy kisses already?”
“Noonoonoommamono.”
