“Oh, no, that’s fair,” I interjected. “I was totally freaked out. I made the doctor who’d treated her stay past his shift in case anything changed with her condition and I’d given every nurse who bothered her throughout the night to check her concussion grief about it. I was a complete basket case. And I didn’t like it.”
“See?” Jules said. “He acts this way, as if he cares—”
“As if I care?” I exploded. “When, in the last twelve years, have I given you the impression that I didn’t care? If anything, there have been too many lines I’ve crossed over that time.”
“Interesting. You were aware that you were crossing these lines?” Carol asked me.
I lifted a shoulder. “For the most part. Yes.”
“Do you want to share a moment you can recall?” Carol asked.
“I guess…” I looked at Jules for confirmation. “I suppose it was when we had the baby talk.”
“Baby talk?” Carol asked, looking for clarification from both of us.
I nodded. Yes, in hindsight, that might have been an odd conversation. For coworkers, for friends.
For anyone but us. Because I never sawusas being normal.
“When I offered to be the father for Julia’s kid,” I explained further.
“Yes,” Carol said, nodding. “Let’s talk about that.”