Page 71 of My Super Sexy Spy
“Beth, get out now! Dmitri has a gun and a Taser. He’s just gone to take a piss. He’ll be back in a second!”
She turned and looked in the direction of the office where the only light was coming from.
“Don’t worry. I got this.” She dropped a kiss on my forehead. Then she took off on her sneakered shoes and I watched her virtually blend into the darkness. And I’d never been more scared, not on any mission ever, than I was in that moment.
* * *
Beth
You can do this. You can do this.As quietly as I could, I snuck into the office and listened as Dmitri…was talking to his penis?
“Yes, it might hurt you, but this piercing will be very attractive to the women. I will look like a sex god and Marta will take me back. I am certain. And you, my friend, will heal in time.”
Taking advantage of his somewhat vulnerable situation, I jumped at the chance to catch him, literally, with his pants down. I quietly came up behind him and pushed my weapon into his back.
“Hands up, Dmitri. Slowly.”
“Beth!” he said, craning his neck to see who had snuck up on him even as he lifted his hands in the air. “How are you? Good to see you. Very tricky you were with credit card just being a normal credit card.”
“Yeah, well, you guys sort of ran with that,” I said as I pulled the gun out of the back of his jeans and used that instead of the weapon I’d brought with me. “Did you do that to Liam’s face?”
“He embarrassed me. I needed to prove my point. But I was basically done with him. He was all worried about you thinking he ditched you. Wanted me to beat him up faster to get it over with. I think it might be love, Beth.”
“Just start walking. And put your dick away. Slowly and with one hand,” I said, shoving the gun against his back.
“Could you look at it and tell me if you think a piercing would improve it?”
“I’m not looking at your penis! I have a boyfriend.”
Fairly docile, Dmitri stuffed it back into his briefs and walked into the warehouse space without any more prodding from me.
Liam was hopping his chair forward incrementally, hissing in pain every time he did.
“Liam, stop,” I said. “You’re hurting yourself. Dmitri, release him.”
“You are so lucky, my friend. Your girlfriend is a true hero to come rescue you,” Dmitri said as he pulled out a pair of scissors, which I probably should have taken from him, and started cutting through the plastic ties.
Liam looked at me as I struggled to remember that I should probably keep the gun pointed at Dmitri.
“What the fuck is that in your hand?”
“His gun,” I said.
“Your other hand!”
I lifted my left hand up and showed him my curling iron. “What? It’s the only thing I had that I thought might pass for a gun. And it worked.”
“Not really,” Dmitri said. “I knew you were not armed, but I had decided that Liam had suffered enough.”
Dmitri cut through the ties and Liam sprang toward me, taking the gun from my hand and swirling it on Dmitri like it was an extension of his hand.
“It is okay,” Dmitri said, as if he were somehow offended by what Liam did. “We are now even, no?”
“You mangled my face and I never even fucked Marta,” Liam told him.
But I, for one, was done for the night. Having spent an emotional day thinking Liam just left me, all I wanted to do was go home and snuggle under the covers. After cleaning up Liam’s face, of course.
“Liam, let’s just go.”
