Page 13 of Santa Baby Maybe
At least, that’s what I told myself. I was about to say something when his phone buzzed.
“W.B.,” his admin announced through the phone. “Your twelve o’clock is here.”
“Thanks. Let her know I’ll be out in a second,” he returned. Then he lifted his gaze to me. “Sorry, was there something else you needed to yell at me for? I have lunch plans.”
I shook my head. “No, that was it. Enjoy your…lunch.”
I didn’t wait for his reply. Instead, I left his office, my steps faltering when I saw who was waiting for him. She wasn’t someone I was familiar with and she was wearing a visitor badge, so definitely not an employee.
Tall, rail thin, beautiful, and there wasn’t a single thing that was loose or flowing about her tailored navy pantsuit. Nope, she was buttoned up about as tight as the blond bun she wore on top of her head.
Totally W.B.’s type, I thought. She probably had a super-sophisticated name, too. Like Eleanor or Theodora. And I was fairly sure she’d never uttered the phrasekiller boobsin her life.
Shaking my head, having absolutely no idea why I was obsessing over his lunch date, I headed for the elevators. As the doors were closing, I watched as W.B. came out of his office and walked over to place a kiss on the woman’s cheek.
And I felt it. Like suddenly the elevator descended too quickly. There was something in my stomach. A churning of yuck.
“I must be hungry,” I said to myself. Because that could be the only explanation.
* * *
W.B.
“What didyou think of the documentary?” Jacklyn asked me, as she speared her salad with a fork.
“It was enlightening,” I answered, looking at my soup and trying to determine why I had no appetite for it. This was our second date and I should have been putting way more effort into it.
Jacklyn checked off every box on my list. She was beautiful, cultured, intelligent. She had her own career, made her own money, and was solely independent. We both believed in our independence fiercely. On paper we made an excellent match, which was why the very expensive service I’d contracted with recently had put us together.
The problem was that I just didn’t want to be there. With her.
I’d never considered the prospect of needing to feel something for the person I was dating. I’d just assumed that if someone compatible came along, the feelings would naturally emerge.
All I felt when I looked at Jacklyn was bored. Which was in direct contrast to how I’d felt earlier when Joy had been in my office. I’d felt irritated, amused, although I’d never admit that to her, and finally lustful, as I could do nothing but fixate on her breasts.
Breasts that I imagined had to be full and luscious. Soft and squeezable.
“But more specifically, I’m curious about your thoughts,” Jacklyn said. Right now my thoughts were on tits. And not her very respectable B-cups under the navy blazer she wore.
I opened my mouth and tried to have a single thought about the documentary. Until finally I shrugged and repeated, like a addle-minded dullard, “It wasveryenlightening?”
She made a small noise in the back of her throat and focused on her salad. I knew she was disappointed in me, but I didn’t make more of an effort to change her mind. This was clearly our last date.
After some awkward small talk while we ate as quickly as possible, we both made excuses about needing to be back at the office, and I paid the check.
Walking back to the office along Denver’s sidewalks, I had my hands stuffed in my pants pockets and my head down as I navigated through the other, slower pedestrians.
“Very enlightening,” I muttered.
Was I trying to self-sabotage? Did I really not want to find a wife and settle down? Was this whole idea of a matchmaking service a complete and utter joke? I knew how I’d been raised; I knew what I’d done to fight my way through that. To make myself into what I’d become. I’d thought I was ready to share that with someone. To take that next and final step in life and have a normal marriage.
My head still down and deep into my thoughts, I wasn’t paying attention when I plowed into someone from behind who must have stopped suddenly.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I said, my arms immediately reaching out to catch the person in front of me.
“Oh shoot!”
As I steadied the person, I closed my eyes, recognizing her voice.
