Page 53 of A Scandal in Homeroom
Forget the fact I was emotionally unavailable for dating. Forget the fact I had sex hang-ups. Forget the fact I’d had a plan to become financially independent by any means necessary. A plan that was currently working.
Locke shouldn’t have been more than a blip on my radar.
But now he felt like this big, huge, pulsing red dot that was getting closer and closer to the target.
“Janie, you know me,” I said under my breath. “It’s not like I’m girlfriend material. I’m way too fucked up for that.”
She sighed and didn’t question my fucked-upness, which I appreciated. We both knew where we came from. We both understood the scars it had left.
“A lot of people are messed up, Reen. Doesn’t mean they can’t feel things. If you like him, you know, really like him, then maybe it means you’re…like, healing.”
Healing? You couldn’t heal a broken soul. It wasn’t possible. I’d reached that conclusion years ago. You could only move forward with what you had.
My plan was simply to cover up all the broken pieces with money.
Money wouldn’t fix my soul, but it would give me all the other things I wanted, which was the only thing that mattered.
So no, I wasn’t going on a date with Locke on Friday. I was going to show up at the game. Atmygame, and I was going to take my part of the rake and add it to my growing bank account.
Locke and his lips were already in my rearview.
At least that’s what I tried to tell myself.
12
Friday Night
Thornfield Home
Reen
“Ah, Miss Adler.”
“Mr. Bennet,” I said, stiffly, as I opened the door wider for him to pass.
He moved past me onto the landing, but didn’t immediately proceed down the steps.
“I was actually hoping we would have an opportunity to talk. Obviously this is a little awkward for both of us, given I know you best from your sleepover days with Beth.”
He wasn’t wrong. If we were going to have sleepovers, they always happened at the Bennets’. Before, when Janie and I were at Thornfield, it wasn’t possible, and even after, it’s not like we ever felt comfortable asking our fosters to accommodate our friends in that way.
Things were always awesome at the Bennets’. All the snacks you could eat and soda you could drink. There was always some form of chocolate. For Janie and me, going to the Bennets’ was like being in some kind of fairytale where everything good happened.
Which is why we struggled when Beth had told us about her dad taking off. Nothing bad was supposed to happen in that house. There wasn’t supposed to be fighting. Certainly not leaving.
So yes, this was an awkward conversation on many levels.
“I’m sure you’re aware Beth’s mom and I are taking a small break. I’ll spare you the details, but suffice to say these are the normal ups and downs of marriage. I doubt it will last.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, when he paused.
“You haven’t told Beth about seeing me here?”
“No, sir. How could I?”
“Right, right.” He smiled in that way he had, where all of his perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth showed. “I must say this isn’t exactly something I approve of for you, young lady.”
Really? Seriously?
