Page 24 of Tears of Tungsten
My mother hummed thoughtfully. “Perhaps not, but unfortunately, you’re not going to find anyone on Earth who is particularly skilled at tachyon manipulation. We’ll just have to do it our way this time around.”
Ah. I could see where she was going with this. She wanted to show me that I didn’t need the chimeras to be powerful, that I could very easily spurn Tartarus’s Gift and still make a difference. I wanted to tell her it wasn’t so simple, but it would have been pointless. In her heart, she knew it too, and at least she was trying to give me a chance, to help me accept and acclimatize to both sides of me.
Led by my mother, the priestesses and adepts all knelt in a circle on the ground. Louise went with them, but I was excluded. Since I wasn’t ‘in sync’ with all the other priestesses, I couldn’t fuel Gaia’s ritual with my own powers. That was fine, since I wasn’t confident I wouldn’t fuck things up and accidentally make matters worse.
I sat down on a rock and watched the process with interest. It was just like I remembered it from my childhood years. My mother took a deep breath and pressed her hands to the earth. “Gaia, hear my plea this day, and grant us your blessing. Show us the mercy of your touch and the warmth of your embrace. Heal this soil, feed these plants, mend what hatred has broken.”
My mother’s chant was far more coherent than the rushed ritual I’d put together to heal August. She didn’t use her own blood either, but then again, she didn’t have to.
Her words swept over each priestess, and through her, the combined power of every woman here came together. Strands of green swirled around their bodies and into the ground, digging deep into the source of the corruption.
It wasn’t deliberate, but my mother’s magic reached me too. My skin started to emanate a greenish mist. The rock I was seated on overheated and grew moss at the same time.
A thick barrier snapped into place between me and my mother, so brutal that I almost fell over.“Sorry, Selene,”Sphinx whispered in my head, “but I can’t let anyone take advantage of you, not even your own family.”
On the ground, my mother jerked slightly and let out a sharp gasp. The ritual faltered. Yolanda must have noticed something was wrong, because she took over. “We come here before you, as your loyal subjects, and ask for your mercy. Oh, great Gaia, hear our plea this day.”
Slowly, my mother calmed down. Sphinx’s presence returned to the back of my consciousness and the ritual started to settle. Gaia’s power flowed over us, warm and potent, reminding me of the gift that had allowed me to heal my lover.
I wanted so badly to reach out and embrace it, but I held back. Looking at the circle of priestesses, I acknowledged just how much work I still had to do. And I couldn’t help but wonder to what extent my mother had been right to warn me.
I didn’t want to think my power was corrupted, but something was undoubtedly special about it. Why was I the only one who could wield both Gaia’s Gift and Tartarus’s power? I didn’t know, but I needed to find out.
* * *
August
“Don’t worry so much about it, August. I told you, I’m fine. Nothing happened.”
“No, it didn’t, but it could have.” Meeting Knox’s eyes, I rubbed my eyes tiredly. “This is ridiculous. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Ever since I’d almost died in that blasted tournament, I’d been increasingly short-tempered. I’d lost control of my power more than once and found myself drifting into alarming thoughts. At first, I’d thought it was because of Charybdis’s absence. Her silence was like a giant, gaping wound at the back of my consciousness. It had never stopped bleeding, even if coming to see her dormant, metallic form helped.
My fellow Chimera Warriors anchored me, though, helping me forget about that hole without trying to fill it. In their own way, they all understood. Pollux and I had been through a similar experience because of Stella, whereas Brendan had lost his mother. Knox didn’t quite have that experience, but he’d always been more empathetic than he seemed. And then, there was Selene, who was like a constant breath of fresh air whenever I felt like I was suffocating.
But even so, today, at training practice, I’d channeled a power I knew I shouldn’t have touched. It was Charybdis’s skill more than mine, and even when she used it, the risks were high. If I’d been sparring with someone else—a regular soldier—I could have easily killed him. That thought should have alarmed me more, and it did, but what truly terrified me was the simple reality that I’d turned on Knox.
Fortunately, we had Chimera Flight Training together, so we were able to regroup and speak in private. The others had rushed to reassure me, although I could tell they weren’t fully convinced of my well-being. In fact, Brendan didn’t even try to hide it. “I don’t think it’s Knox we have to worry about right now,” he said.
Pollux nodded, his eyes glinting with concern. “It might be a good idea to have another medic see you soon.”
“And who could we possibly trust, Pollux?” I asked with a sigh. “The ones at Hyperion Base were creepy as fuck. Who knows what they’d have done if Selene hadn’t been there to give us a hand.”
Selene. She was the only one not present, and that bothered me too. A staff member had told me she’d left earlier with her mother, as she’d had a secondary class on Terra. My immediate instinct was to go after her, to track her down. She belonged here, with us, not on that planet that couldn’t truly understand her abilities. But I couldn’t do that, especially not with Charybdis dormant and me still in class.
Tartarus help me, this sucked so much.
“Look, let’s just… drop it for the day. I can’t think about it anymore.”
“All right.” Brendan let out a slow breath, accepting my decision. But this conversation isn’t over. We’ll discuss it more when we’re in a more private setting.”
I nodded, grateful that Brendan understood and wouldn’t badger me about my inadequacies. As he and the others headed toward their chimeras, I walked to Charybdis’s side.
The cockpit was open. Knox had torn it apart to get me out, but the engineers of Tartarus Base had since fixed it. I absently petted the smooth, metallic scales, feeling lost and confused. “What am I doing, Charybdis? When did I become dangerous to the people I love?”
There was no reply, but I didn’t expect one. Nobody knew where chimera souls went when they were dormant, but making conversation with her like this wouldn’t bring her back. The metal was cold and lifeless, and that was the way it would stay until we did something about it.
If The Grand Judiciary was right, to accomplish that, we’d have to compromise what little integrity we had left. Brendan wasn’t happy with the idea and was trying to find alternatives with Typhon’s help, but so far, we hadn’t been too successful. I sat down on Charybdis’s frame and looked out at my lovers. By now, they’d climbed into their chimeras and were preparing to launch. Brendan and Knox had already closed their cockpits, but Pollux was on top of the Scylla, staring at me.
