Page 8 of Tears of Tungsten
All my life I’d been called an Unblessed. It hadn’t been a slur. It was just a word—like calling someone a woman, a man, a soldier, a tamer—just a noun that identified an undeniable fact about me. No one had told me I was inferior because of it. My mother had gone out of her way to point out I could still contribute to the well-being of our planet even if I hadn’t been born with Gaia’s Gift.
But at that moment, when I held Gaia’s power so close to my heart, I knew that had all been a lie. ‘Unblessed’ wasn’t just a noun. It was a designation that had the same vibe as ‘Terran’ did on Tartarus. No one needed to utter the word ‘inferior’, because it was right there, staring at us in the face. Gaia’s priestesses were blessed, chosen by a goddess. We were not, and therefore, we were beneath them.
I wasn’t angry with my mother for the deception. She could have very well made me feel horrible because of my lack of magic, but she hadn’t. It couldn’t have been easy to give birth to an Unblessed child as a High Priestess.
But now, I was no longer Unblessed. I did have a gift. And I could truly use it to become a better tamer, a more useful member of my unit. I could protect my lovers and my family better.
Beneath my hand, grass started to grow. Crimson flowers bloomed in bright explosions of color, and in them, I saw Tartarus’s fire. Smiling widely, I guided my power forward, attacking the dummies.
Vines exploded out of the ground, grabbed the dummies and threw them around like they weighed nothing at all. At that point, I realized I had next to no control over the vines, but I very carefully didn’t panic. Volatile magic wasn’t a new thing to me and, if nothing else, Chimera Academy had taught me how to take such situations in stride.
Digging my fingers deeper into the dirt, I willed the vines to behave. They had a mind of their own, in a way, and that made them tough to tame. But tachyon manipulation wasn’t a piece of cake either, and I’d learned that. I could do this too.
The vines slowed down, their motions becoming a little less wild, more coordinated. Finally, I got them to obey my commands and crack the dummies against one another.
As the pieces of stone crumbled to the ground, I thanked the powers of Gaia and allowed the vines to retreat. If I’d had the training, I could’ve probably forced the dummies to crumble outright. It would’ve been faster and more efficient. But there was something beautiful and almost poetic about watching the power of nature at work, and the vines had done a good job. They deserved my gratitude.
Maybe my Chimera Academy teachers had been right when they’d told me to come here. If I hadn’t, it would’ve never occurred to me to try something like this out. I might have never realized the potential that lived inside me. I might have continued to ignore the blessing Gaia had given me.
I turned toward my mother, breathless and proud of my accomplishment. “I can’t believe it. It’s true. I have Gaia’s Gift.”
For a few seconds, my mother just stared at me, as if she’d never seen me before. As the silence stretched between us, I realized in horror that she was nowhere near as pleased with this development as I was.
“Mother? What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”
My inquiry snapped her out of her trance. “Wrong? Everything about this is wrong.” She clenched her fists, her magic swirling around her in agitation. “It appears that your gifts go beyond the power you received from Tartarus. Gaia has touched you as well, but your magic is… corrupted. I can only assume it must have something to do with your relationship with those men. Otherwise, such an abomination wouldn’t exist.”
“Abomination?” I repeated shakily. “How can you say that? I’m still me. Why is it wrong to have this power?”
“If you don’t understand that yourself, there’s nothing I can say that will make you see the truth,” my mother answered, shaking her head in disappointment. “Honestly, Selene, if you were anyone else, I’d send you away. You’ve squandered and defiled our legacy. But you are my daughter and I don’t have the heart to abandon you.”
I’d never heard my mother sound so cold in her life. “You’re talking as if I committed some crime. I haven’t done anything special. Nothing related to Gaia, at least.”
“Don’t lie, Selene. You must have. Otherwise, there’s no way to explain the anomaly.”
“Maybe the magic was just dormant and Tartarus’s gift nudged it awake,” I said, a little desperately. Why was she acting this way? Why wasn’t she happy for me?
“Maybe.” My mother sighed. She didn’t sound like she believed it at all. “It doesn’t matter anymore. There’s nothing I can do on my own to bind it, and I doubt The Grand Judiciary would allow it, even if I did try. We will lie and say the two powers are separate from one another, and that you’ll never be that talented at using Gaia’s Gift.”
Bind my magic? She’d go so far? The mere idea outraged me. I tried to get up, only to find that I couldn’t. My legs refused to listen to me. I was as powerless as a newborn puppy. I’d overexerted myself—badly.
My mother couldn’t have missed my less than ideal state, but she made no move to help me. Gritting my teeth, I faced her again. “I want to learn how to use this, Mother. It could be so useful. It could save so many lives!”
“No, Selene. Nothing good can come out of this. I will teach you a few things, so you won’t be a threat to yourself and others. But I refuse to be a part of it in any other way. In the end, I am the High Priestess of Gaia and I must respect that vow, no matter what it means for you, my daughter.”
My indignation flared into bright hot fury. I’d heard that before from countless other people. General Rhodes had told me something almost identical when he’d said I needed to go to Chimera Academy. The grass beneath my fingertips started to burn, and the smoke reminded me of the mirror trial at the tournament. I ignored it.
“Mother, you told me once that Gaia and Tartarus are both deities that aimed to protect Terra, that they work together side by side. Did you lie?”
My voice was quiet and calm, but my mother heard me anyway. She heard everything I was asking, beyond the words I’d already said. “Yes, Selene, I did,” she answered. “But, given that you’re a student at Chimera Academy now, I think you already know that.”
She turned on her heel and walked out of the building. I didn’t follow. Instead, I just lay there, on the scorched grass, wondering how things had gone wrong so quickly.
It wasn’t a question I could answer, but by the time I finally got up, I’d made a decision. This power had been given to me for a reason. It wasn’t my mother’s place to decide if I deserved it or not. I would bite my tongue, accept her lessons, and go through the motions. Then, I’d learn on my own and have Sphinx help me.
I had a new family now. My mother might have reneged of me, but my unit and my chimera never would.
