Page 19 of Tears of Tungsten
“You didn’t know?” My mother arched a brow. “Your lover went out of his way to tell your father he’s planning to make you his broodmare. Apparently, that was the plan the whole time. And since Terrans are oh so fertile, you’ll get to give birth to the children of the others too. Congratulations.”
I didn’t hate the idea of being a mother, but it just hadn’t been an option I’d seen on the table. The Grand Judiciary enforced heavy control on human population, and an Unblessed woman would’ve never been allowed to have children. I’d made my peace with that a long time ago.
I’d thought I’d found a family in the Grand Chimera Unit. Had I been wrong?
No, not really. Brendan was a prince. Of course he would need children. And considering our relationship, it stood to reason that he’d want them with me.
Straightening my back, I smiled at my mother. “Thank you for letting me know. I admit I didn’t expect it, but they must have wanted to wait until they managed to lift the reproduction ban. Anyway, if you’re eager to be a grandmother, I’ll keep you posted about our progress as we go along.”
My mother let out a heavy sigh. “Look, Selene. You have to stop this. You have to take a step back and think. You can’t stay here. You can’t be part of the Chimera royal family.”
“Brendan thinks differently.” A sudden realization dawned and my smile widened. “That’s why you’re here, right? The king needs people to have a better perspective on Terrans, because I’m the one who is supposed to bear Brendan’s children.”
It was actually ironic. I’d wanted to change the world despite being a woman. Maybe I was going to change it because of it.
Who really cared what method I used anyway? I wasn’t ready to have children, because right now, I was first and foremost a chimera tamer. I had no intention of giving up my bond with Sphinx. But when we did decide to make our family grow, it would be something we could look forward to.
Maybe my children could be born in a better world, one where they wouldn’t be looked down upon for their gender, background or innate skills.
“I don’t understand you, Mother. You’re saying you want to help me, but instead, you’re trying to thwart me. You’ve called me an abomination, but you’re the one who’s defying Gaia’s dictates by spitting in the face of motherhood. I’m not going to blame you for the choices you make, but I’d appreciate it if you at least respected me enough to tell me the truth.”
It was a foolish, defiant request. I expected her to hit me again. Maybe I’d have deserved it.
But my mother surprised me once more. Her eyes filled with tears and she walked up to me, pulling me into her arms. Despite our dispute, my instinct was still to trust her so I went easily.
“My poor daughter,” she whispered, petting my hair. “I wish… I wish things were different. I wish so badly that I could protect you.
“This whole thing… It’s wrong. The Grand Judiciary is dangerous. You might think you’ve seen everything they can do, but you haven’t even brushed the surface.”
The desperation in her voice was far truer and more honest than the disdain I’d seen on Terra. She’d thrown harsh words and insults at me, but now, I had to wonder what she truly believed.
“Mother, what—?”
“Don’t,” she cut me off, still holding me tightly. “Your lovers know very well what’s going on with The Grand Judiciary. Brendan Chimera is a prince. I’d be surprised if he wasn’t directly involved in the messier affairs that go on behind the scenes. But if you find out about it, Selene, if you’re completely drawn into his world… There’s no way I can save you, not anymore.”
For the first time, I noticed she’d lost a lot of weight compared to the way she’d been before I’d left for Chimera Academy. How had I missed that when we’d reunited, back on Terra?
“You’ve fallen into a trap, Selene, and I can’t extract you. Just promise me something. No matter what you do, don’t have children with them until you’re absolutely sure you know everything there is to know about your situation.”
That much, I could agree to. I loved and trusted my fellow Chimera Warriors, but it didn’t hurt to find out what I was getting myself into before I committed to anything. Besides, I hadn’t forgotten what they’d told me about that whole business with the terrorists in New Washington.
I already knew The Grand Judiciary was unscrupulous and my lovers were keeping things from me. I’d have to make sure I fixed that problem before it turned into something more serious.
In the meantime, I had my mother’s erratic behavior to worry about. “All right, Mother. I’ll be careful. But you have to rest at ease. You might not be able to save me, but you can help me.
“Please. I know you’re against me using Gaia’s power. I know you think it’s not something I should’ve ever had. But I feel it deep inside me, close to my heart. I can become more, as long as you teach me. Will you give me the chance?”
My mother’s shoulders slumped. “All right, Selene. It looks like I have no choice. This is against my better judgment, but I agree.”
“Really?” I almost couldn’t believe my ears. “You’ll help?”
She nodded, although she didn’t look happy about it. “You can come with me when I return to Earth today. It’s high time you were introduced a little more to what it actually means to be a priestess of Gaia.”
Terra-forming! I could actually do terra-forming! Oh, this was excellent news.
“I’ll also speak with Dean Chimera to establish a better schedule for you,” my mother continued. “Come. We might as well take advantage of your free period and handle this now.”
Ecstatic, I hugged her one last time. “Thank you. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”
