Page 52 of Tears of Tungsten
She must have had more information than Kallios, because she obviously knew about Selene. “If you’re referring to my new mate, yes, it’s true. Does it bother you?”
Teela pursed her lips and stared at the sky. “I’m not sure. I feel like I should be angry with her. I could have pulled August and Pollux in if she hadn’t intervened. But maybe for now… Maybe this is a good thing. Assuming they’ll get over her, at least.”
“You don’t sound like you believe that, Teela.”
“That’s because I don’t. Jar’yd, you need to be careful. My brother loves me. I know he does. But that woman… All she had to do was step between us and it was like Pollux just forgot about me. Remember who and what she is. At the end of the day, she’s not a Heliad. Her soul was bound to a chimera, and that’s never a good sign.”
“Maybe, but I will break that bond.” I took Teela’s hand and threaded our fingers together. “I know this isn’t ideal, Teela, but please, do try to welcome her here.”
“I don’t have much choice, do I?” Teela mumbled. “We need more women and the Great Mother believes she’s going to be an asset.”
I suppressed a flinch. That was a sore subject for Teela. Because of the way her human life had ended, she’d so far been unable to have children. The Great Mother was skeptical about Teela’s ability to ever reproduce. That didn’t make her any less valued in our community, but it still hurt her.
Teela got up and freed her hand from my hold. “Tell me, Jar’yd. What does Selene Renard have that I don’t? Why is she so important and I’m not?”
“Don’t say such things,” I replied. “Of course you’re important.”
Teela didn’t acknowledge my words. She wasn’t prone to falling into bouts of self-pity, but she was obviously unhappy with the situation.
I didn’t know what to say that would improve this, but Ostheo saved us all from further awkwardness. “Come, Teela. I heard the new recruits around the Eastern gates have been making mischief. We should drop by and remind them of their duties.”
Technically speaking, that wasn’t our job, but Ostheo was enough of a prankster to get away with it. The rest of the Heliads never minded, since half the time, it was all in good fun. We were usually happy to contribute to his self-appointed tasks of hazing, but I could understand why he’d only invited Teela. For a creature that looked like a cross between a cockroach and a cat, he could be strikingly tactful.
“That sounds good,” Teela said. “Let’s go. Everyone needs to remember that our priority always has to be our service to the Great Mother.”
The latter sentence was undoubtedly a dig at me. She left without waiting for a reply, and I watched her go, wishing I were at least half as good at handling her as Ostheo. “That could have gone better,” I commented.
Kallios squeezed my shoulder with a clawed paw. “Teela is a good woman. She’ll understand, eventually. Don’t let it get to you. You did what you could. At the end of the day, you don’t owe anyone any explanations about your feelings. If you want the flame-haired female as your mate and the Great Mother has approved, that is the way it’s supposed to be.”
It really was that easy, and even if Teela didn’t like it, she’d learn to accept it. Reassured, I decided to return to the mating den.
By now, Selene must have received her meal and had some time to think about what I’d told her. It wouldn’t do to leave her alone for too long either. She had no occupation in the den, so she’d likely be bored and upset if I just abandoned her there.
Much to my surprise, when I arrived at the den, I didn’t find Selene panicking, upset, or mournful. Instead, she was talking to a solar spirit, poking at her meal without eating and eyeing the creature with clear interest.
“Oh, hello, Jared,” she said mildly. “You’re back. Tessera has been keeping me company. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course I don’t mind. Even if I did, I doubt my opinion would matter to you anyway.” She flushed, and I knew I’d been correct in my guess. “Don’t worry about it. As long as you’re comfortable, you can speak to anyone you want. Have you eaten?”
“Not enough,” the solar spirit replied in Selene’s stead. “I believe the Lady Selene isn’t satisfied with what we offered.”
The creature sounded quite dejected that his efforts had been spurned and Selene noticed. “That’s not it. I’m just not sure I can eat this, that’s all.”
“I’ve already instructed them to give you something that’s compatible with your physical form, Selene,” I said. “They’re used to Terrans. Believe it or not, your presence here isn’t that unusual.”
“Right. Because you were a human too. How does that work, exactly? How could you possibly be both a human, and a Heliad?”
I let out a heavy sigh. I’d known Selene would ask, but I’d hoped we could leave the difficult conversation for a different time. I’d already dumped enough on her shoulders without mentioning the burdens of my past.
But I had told her I wanted to be honest with her, and there was no going back from that now. “Are you sure you want to hear this? It’s not a pleasant story.”
Selene set her jaw in a stubborn jut. “Most things in my life are unpleasant as of late. Tell me.”
Nodding, I opened my mouth and started to speak. I wondered if, by the time I finished my tale, she’d be more willing to accept her unavoidable future.
* * *
Selene
