Page 54 of Tears of Tungsten
Jared said nothing. What could he say? He was right, in his own way, but so was I, and we were at a stalemate.
Besides, even assuming he was honest about the whole thing, that The Grand Judiciary was as evil as he claimed, that his people had been provoked into the invasion, I still didn’t belong here. I needed to go home, to my family, to my friends, and to my lovers.
My heart ached when I thought about them. I remembered Sphinx and the way she’d fallen on the battle field. I remembered my fellow Chimera Warriors’ cries, their desperation when I’d fallen.
Yes, they’d lied to me and they’d committed unspeakable crimes. But even so, I had to see them. I couldn’t leave them. I still believed in them. They were still mine, and I was still theirs.
“Jared, I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I wish I could help you, that I could do more to stop this conflict. But I can’t. And I don’t belong here. I’m a Terran and a chimera warrior. You have to let me go.”
Jared’s deep blue eyes fixed me with a look that seemed to scorch my very soul. “I was wondering when you were going to ask me that again. I’m surprised it took you this long.”
I’d have been surprised at myself too, but I hadn’t been nearly as passive as he seemed to think. I could have hardly tried anything while crippled by grief, confusion, and terror. The time he’d given me had been a useful weapon, one better than a tachyon blade. It had allowed me to regain my clarity.
For the first time, since I’d woken up in this strange place, I left the bed. I half-expected to fall to the bottom of the sphere, but instead, I ended up floating mid-air, just like Jared was.
It didn’t take me long to adapt to it, since I’d done gravitational exercises at the academy. Straightening my back, I glared at Jared. “I’m so sorry to disappoint. I’m clearly not good enough for you. So why not abandon this ridiculous game and return me to Terra?”
“Because it’s not a game and you don’t belong there,” Jared replied, not seeming taken aback by my protests.
The chances of me being able to reason with him were slim to none. So, escape was the only option.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I considered my approach. Attacking him now was out of the question. When we’d been in the labyrinth, he’d managed to pin me down, and I got the feeling he hadn’t been trying too hard to beat me. I was a better fighter than I’d been at the time, but I doubted I could defeat him.
That left me with subterfuge and possibly sneaking out. “They’ll come for me,” I said. “They won’t let you have me, just like that.”
I’d said something similar when I’d first woken up, and I didn’t like to repeat myself or use my lovers as a threat. But maybe it would throw him off, make him believe that I’d chosen to wait for them instead of attempting to escape on my own. I couldn’t look too passive either, because he’d never believe it, but I still had to catch him and his accomplices unawares.
Fortunately, Jared responded in a perfect way—sort of. His eyes flashed and he stalked to my side, grabbing my wrists in an unbreakable hold. “Their opinion doesn’t matter. There’s nothing they can do to help you now, my beautiful Terran. You’re mine to breed, mine to claim, like you should have been from the very beginning.”
I knew I should be trying to pull away, to free myself from him. At the back of my mind, a voice was screeching in anguished frustration, willing me to attack. And yet, something told me I needed to hear him out.
“Is that right? I’ll have you know that I belong to no one but myself.”
“That’s a lie, Selene. You haven’t belonged to yourself since you first entered that damn machine.” He pressed his body to mine and the heat he emanated threatened to scorch my flesh off my bones. “But I can fix that. I can free you.”
I didn’t believe him. I couldn’t believe him. But I wanted to be free. “Jared…”
“Jar’yd,” he corrected me. He brushed his lips against mine, all the while squeezing my wrists so tightly I was surprised he didn’t leave burns. “I’m Jar’yd. And I can be your future, if you’ll let me.”
His future wasn’t one I could accept. He might speak promises of freedom, but what he offered was another cage.
I could never accept that. I refused to be used and abused again.
Angry and frustrated, I summoned my power and directed everything I had at him. Gaia’s magic and Tartarus’s fire came together inside me, blasting him off me.
He landed a few feet away, his figure crackling with purplish flames, a dark red shield flaring around him. He seemed completely unharmed and I knew that I’d been right to be wary.
“I suppose I deserve that,” he said. “My apologies. I promised I’d take it slow with you, but it’s just so difficult.”
“You could go at a snail’s pace and it still won’t make a difference. I won’t change my mind.”
“We’ll see.” He looked down at my hands, and I realized that, the moment I’d attacked him, I’d done damage to myself. “You should be more careful,” he whispered. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
He sounded like he meant it and I had to wonder if I’d underestimated him. Then, I took another good look around and remembered where I was.
If I was hurting myself, it was because of him and this stupid place. “Just let me go, Jared. This is wrong. In your heart, you must know that. Holding me captive in this place is no better than what The Grand Judiciary was doing to those innocent people.”
“You’re wrong, Selene. You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.” He walked up to me once again and took my hand. This time, instead of being forceful, he kissed my wounded wrist. “You probably won’t believe me, but I’m sorry things have to be this way. I wish we could have met and courted properly, when I was still a human being and I could offer you a relationship you could understand. But this is better. Helios will protect you and here, you won’t ever have to feel pain and rejection.”
His voice was so soft that I didn’t have the strength to push him away again. And when he finally left, I found myself wondering if there wasn’t more truth to his threat than I’d believed, if perhaps, he couldn’t indeed convince me I belonged here.
