Page 26 of Destinies of Diamond
“Maybe the others will have more information.”
It was a little difficult to get into contact with Brendan and Knox, but the coms responded when the two of them got close enough to me and Pollux. They did have some news, although it wasn’t what I’d wanted or expected. “The Grand Judiciary had called a meeting about the possibility of staging another assault on the Apsid Quasar,” Brendan explained. “It appears our small trip left traces. I managed to dissuade them, for now, but I’m still concerned about what this whole thing might mean for Selene.”
“I know she said Jared Glass is on our side, but we can’t trust him,” Knox added.
No, we couldn’t, and that thought had been bugging me since we’d left Tartarus. “I take it we’re going after her, then.”
“Yes. We can’t risk him taking advantage of her situation to maybe kidnap her again.”
Together, our whole unit headed toward Terra. Our chimeras zeroed in on Sphinx’s location and established that the mecha was still somewhere near New Washington. That didn’t necessarily mean Selene was there too, but it was our best bet.
The mission should have been straightforward. Go to Terra, find Selene, and return to Tartarus. There weren’t black holes and crystallized apsid units here and the hostile forces that did exist wouldn’t dare to attack us.
But as we were entering the planet’s atmosphere, something went wrong. The world started to swirl, my vision going dark around the edges. Stars flashed through my consciousness, moving at dazzling speed. At first, I flailed, struggling to breathe, instinctively trying to fight off the unexpected attack. But then, I realized this was actually a little familiar. I’d gone through something very similar when we’d traveled into the Apsid Quasar.
As I embraced that and accepted the force that was dragging me forward, the chaotic power settled into something calmer. I blinked, and just like that, I wasn’t in the Charybdis anymore. I was back on Eos, standing in the same singularity where I’d watched Brendan fight for Selene. The Great Mother was still there, sitting on her throne and glowing so brightly I was forced to squint.
“Ah,” she said. “There you are. I was wondering when you’d come back.”
I wanted to point out I’d just left Nexus less than a week ago, but time was relative for the Great Mother. “I didn’t intend to,” I admitted. “I mean no disrespect, Great Mother, but why did you summon me here?”
The Great Mother laughed and the light around her dimmed slightly. She looked a little more like a person now, but I didn’t find that as reassuring as it should have been. “As striking as you might find this news, I’m not the one to bring you here. You came of your own accord.”
I hadn’t. I knew where I wanted to be, and it wasn’t on Nexus. It was with Selene.
“The two things aren’t mutually exclusive,” she told me, having obviously caught a glimpse of my mind. She got up and made her way down the dais, walking toward me. “You know in your heart that in Nexus, Selene would have been much safer than she is on Terra. And unlike the others, I think you understand a little why Jar’yd and I acted the way we did.”
I swallowed around the knot in my throat. I didn’t want to agree with her, but could I afford to deny it? The truth was that what we’d felt for Selene had been wild and all-consuming from the very beginning. She’d agreed to be ours, but if she hadn’t, would it have made a difference?
I thought about the incident in the bathroom. I’d guessed back then that she wasn’t completely well, that her faculties might have abandoned her. I should have stopped her, snapped her out of it somehow. But I hadn’t. Instead, I had fucked her in the ass. We’d all used her, although maybe not as badly as the Heliads.
“You should be aware, August Cavallero, that you’re about to set foot in a minefield,” the Great Mother said. “I didn’t share this with your friends and not even with Jar’yd, because he’s already carrying a heavy burden on his shoulders. But your Selene is both very vulnerable and very dangerous right now.
“I’ve warned her about it and I told her what she needs to do to stay anchored. But unfortunately, a lot of that involves her relationship with you and she’s just not in the right place to accept it.”
“This can’t be a surprise for you,” I hissed between gritted teeth. “What did you think was going to happen if you encouraged your underling to rape her?”
“I knew that would cause strife between them, but it was necessary. The baby she carries is important, August Cavallero, and not just because it’s a new life. It is a tool, something you can use to save yourselves and others.”
The idea felt repugnant to me. I’d killed countless people, some of them innocents. There had been children in Gaia’s Haven and I’d followed orders and ended their lives regardless. But this wasn’t just any child we were talking about. It was Selene’s child and a part of her. I couldn’t just use it or consider it a tool.
“Selene wants that baby,” I whispered. “We have to respect her wishes. We’ve already hurt her enough without taking the child too.”
“Your scruples are admirable, but they won’t help you when the time comes. Remember what I told you and don’t hide behind self-deceit. At the end of the day, you are willing to do whatever it takes to save her, even if it ultimately ends with her hating you forever.”
I glared at her, tachyons flaring at my fingertips. My power couldn’t harm her and violence wouldn’t change the fact that she was right. Still, I would have very much liked to teach her a lesson, something she’d never forget.
In my zeal to let out my anger, I almost ended up destroying the Charybdis. It all happened so fast. One moment, I was standing in front of the Great Mother, and the next, she extended her hands toward me and pushed.
I didn’t fall and didn’t land. I didn’t journey through time and space like before. Instead, I just woke up in my chimera, with hostile energy still coursing through my veins.
Judging by the signals on the displays, not a lot of time had passed since my unexpected trip. We were making progress, heading toward Selene. The others didn’t seem to have realized anything had happened to me, but Charybdis had naturally noticed. She had kept going in the same direction, even if I’d been unable to guide her forward.
“Did you see all that?” I asked her.
“I caught most of it, yes,” she agreed. “I don’t know what she means, August, but we can’t exclude the possibility that she may be right. You’re being watched because you’re part-apsid. We already know that. Selene’s baby is part-apsid too, but it will also inherit her gifts. If anyone finds out about the true parentage of that child, it could be very useful as a weapon.”
A weapon. A tool. Should I really be thinking of Selene’s baby in these terms? Did I have a choice? Selene’s life and well-being took priority—over me, over everything and everyone else.
