Page 29 of Destinies of Diamond
But I couldn’t make any rushed judgments, not before I had a real plan. Sphinx and Jared had more or less confirmed it, but their answers had been a little too vague. I needed to find out more before I drew my conclusion,
“Where are we now?” I asked.
“An abandoned shelter north of New Washington. It isn’t used anymore because the radiation got too powerful to contain. The priestesses of Gaia haven’t terra-formed it yet either. We’re safe here, for now.”
I took a quick look around and determined that, indeed, this looked like one of the places I’d visited as a child, when my mother had still taken me along for terra-forming expeditions. The air had a very distinctive sulphurous scent which reminded me a little of Tartarus Base. There were a few metallic shelves and cots, things that had endured the test of time. Most of it was damaged and covered in rust. The cot I was lying in was the only thing that was usable. I had no idea how Jared had managed to procure it.
“I’m resourceful,” he said, as if reading my mind. “I told you I’ve been going in and out of New Washington ever since you left me on Terra. I got a few blankets while I was there.”
“How did you manage that? You don’t have any credits on you.”
Jared winked. “You don’t need that sort of thing if you have the right items to trade. And you’d be surprised how accommodating people can be if you have the right product to sell.”
From somewhere underneath the cot, he produced a tiny, glass figurine. The glass wasn’t clear or refined, but even so, the item was beautiful. It also looked identical to me. “I made more nondescript things to sell,” Jared whispered. “I made this for you.”
He set the figurine in my lap, and for some reason, the small gesture made me tear up. I didn’t want to be as fragile as glass, but these days, I definitely felt like it.
If the tiny item hadn’t been so beautiful, I would’ve been tempted to smash it. But instead, I found myself clutching the figurine in my hand so tightly I was surprised it didn’t crack.
“You don’t like it,” Jared murmured, his face falling.
“That’s not it. That’s not it at all. I just… I don’t want to like it.”
Somehow, Jared understood exactly what I meant. “If it helps, it’s not pure glass. The ‘skeleton’ is metal. I thought it was suitable.” His hand hovered over mine, but he didn’t touch me again. “You’re not weak, Selene. Don’t ever think that. No matter what happens, you’re still the same determined woman who first got into the Sphinx.”
“Am I? I don’t really feel like that person anymore.”
Everything had been so much easier when I’d had a clear goal in mind. I’d first left New Washington determined to control my new gift and learn how to pilot the Sphinx properly. Then, it had become obvious that my presence at Chimera Academy had a far greater meaning, and I’d sworn to prove to everyone that women were not beneath men because of their gender.
I hadn’t had a real plan beyond honing my skills and increasing my military rank, but now, even that was no longer possible. My lovers were basically mass-murderers. One of them was part-Heliad. I’d been kidnapped and knocked up by the man who’d harassed me in my first term. The Grand Judiciary was turning human beings into fuels and alloys. Even the gods and the chimeras seemed to have their own secrets and agendas.
My world was dissipating, turning into sand that was sliding through my fingers. Maybe it was suitable that Jared’s fire—the fire of a Heliad—had turned that sand into glass.
“I was naive, Jared. I had this idea of how things worked and what I wanted, but I understand now that nothing is that simple.”
“Some things are.” Jared leaned over and kissed the air over my knuckles. “You probably despise me and you’re in your right to do that. But believe me when I say that I’ll still stand by you and help you. Even if you don’t trust anything, trust that. Like you said, I owe you that much.”
I did believe him, and my heart cracked in my chest, because if things had been different, we could have had something real. But I didn’t even know which way was up now and I wasn’t sure I could trust myself, him, or any of my other lovers to make a good decision about our romantic lives.
Before I could provide him with an answer—or figure out if he actually expected one—a loud bang sounded at the door. Jared jolted and shot to his feet. “What in Helios’s name—?”
“Is it The Grand Judiciary? Did they find us?”
“No,”Sphinx replied in Jared’s stead,“but your guests are just as dangerous and volatile.”
It was the understatement of the fucking century. The next thing I knew, August, Brendan, Knox, and Pollux were rushing into the room, looking like they were on the war path. “Let her go,” Knox growled.
“I’m not holding her captive,” Jared replied. “She felt unwell, so I brought her here to rest.”
“Really?” August drawled. “And she got ill exactly when she met up with you. What a coincidence.”
It wasn’t a coincidence, but it wasn’t Jared’s fault either. “How did you find us?” I asked, not wanting to see this devolve into another fight.
Almost instantly, all of them turned toward me. “Our chimeras tend to be able to track each other down, Selene,” Brendan replied, not unkindly. “Did he really not harm you?”
“No, it was… It was something different. You know I’ve been feeling off for a while now, even at the base.”
A shadow flickered over their faces, and I knew they were remembering what I’d done the last time I’d lost control. They didn’t ask, not outright. “Are you okay now?” Pollux inquired instead. “Do you need any help?”
