Page 39 of Destinies of Diamond
Thankfully, it didn’t take us long to get to the academy. By then, the world around me had already started to blur and I could hear Sphinx panicking at the back of my consciousness.“Focus on my voice, young Selene. No matter what you do, don’t let yourself drift.”
“It hurts, Sphinx,” I croaked out. “Why does it hurt? I’m scared.”
“I’m with you and so are your males. They’ll join you in a few minutes. Stay with us, no matter what.”
I tried to take comfort in that, but I didn’t quite manage it. The cramps were getting stronger again. My whole body was screaming, fighting whatever was happening to it at a cellular level. To make matters worse, I knew I needed help, but I didn’t trust the only person at the academy who could provide it.
Dr. Bell had never been nice to me. If anything, the opposite was the case. The first time we’d met, he’d blamed me for an accident that had been Professor Strange’s fault. He had helped the injured women, but he hadn’t shown as much interest in their wellbeing as he should have. He was the last person I wanted to look me over when I was close to miscarriage.
But as always, I didn’t get a choice and I couldn’t stop Commander Trevor from taking me to the med bay. His speed and enhancements were both a blessing and a curse. Before I knew it, we’d reached Dr. Bell’s domain again and Commander Trevor was setting me down on a bed.
“What’s going on with her?” I heard Dr. Bell ask.
“She’s pregnant and having problems,” Commander Trevor explained. “I think it may be related to The Grand Judiciary contraceptive.”
That couldn’t be right. The Great Mother had eliminated all traces of the substance from my system. But I couldn’t tell them that, and even if I’d been inclined to do so, I didn’t think I could speak. Then again, Commander Trevor had admitted he wasn’t a doctor. Whatever extrapolations he’d made using his analytical engine could easily be incorrect. Dr. Bell would run real tests on me, and that could be a disaster.
Through some kind of titanic effort, I grabbed Commander Trevor’s arm and refused to let go. “Don’t leave. Please.”
Commander Trevor made no immediate attempt to pull away, but he didn’t agree either. “I have to, Selene, but don’t worry. I’ll make sure you’re safe here. I’ll talk to Prince Archibald and clear everything with him. He’s aware of the more complicated implications of your relationship with the rest of your unit.”
“You… You don’t understand…”
If he left me here, in this condition, Gaia only knew what Hieronymus Bell would do to me. He could pretend to give me treatment and let my baby die. Or he could report to The Grand Judiciary and hand us both in to be tortured and used.
I didn’t think I’d ever been so scared in my life, not even when I’d first realized I was a prisoner of an alien race. Because whatever Dr. Bell did to me didn’t matter. My baby did.
When I’d first found out about the pregnancy, I hadn’t been sure I wanted to keep it. The baby had more or less been forced on me. I still had mixed feelings about Jared and our relationship. But now that I ran the risk of losing the child, the thought terrified me beyond belief.
Thinking back, I’d never had anything that was truly mine. I loved my mother, but her time and loyalty had belonged to Gaia. My relationship with the rest of my friends had soured after I’d come to the academy. I had my bond with Sphinx, but that wasn’t unique. She’d had other tamers before me and if I was gone, I’d be replaced.
I had my lovers, but in the grand scheme of things, I was only a piece of the puzzle of the Grand Chimera Unit. They’d been perfectly happy before I’d shown up. With Jared… Well, it was complicated.
But my baby… My baby was mine. If I could have this, the life growing inside me, I could be sure of what I was fighting for. All of my other fears and doubts wouldn’t matter, because what could be more genuine than building a better world for my child?
It was a selfish thought to have, but I couldn’t help myself. And I was so scared that I’d lose this too. If I did, what would happen to me? What would I turn to? Would I become only the weapon and the target Commander Trevor had said I was?
My terror must have been obvious, because Dr. Bell’s hand landed on my forehead. He was wearing gloves, but even so, I could feel his energy buzzing underneath his skin. “It’s all right, Acting Pilot Renard. You’re safe. Nothing will happen to your child. You have my word.”
It was unusual for a doctor to physically touch a patient. There were other methods they used to handle medical treatment. But the damage to the generators had forced Dr. Bell to fall onto more classical methods, which meant I’d have to accept it too.
“And why… Why should I believe that?” I asked, unable to suppress the tremor in my voice. “You hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” he answered. “I just don’t think you belong here. But even so, I wouldn’t take that out on your child. I do have a job to do. I wouldn’t risk my position out of spite.”
That, I believed. It was also no guarantee that he wouldn’t end up using my child in other ways. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to hope and pray that he meant his words and that, at the very least, he’d make sure I didn’t miscarry. “Please… Please save my baby.”
“I’ll do my very best.”
“He will, Selene,”Sphinx whispered in my mind.“Commander Trevor will kick his ass if he breaks his word. Have some faith, okay?”
It was a little difficult for me to do that when so far, I’d been lied to so many times. But as Sphinx spoke, something deep and ancient unfolded inside me, the same secret knowledge that had made me reach out to Commander Trevor at the power plant.
A distant voice echoed in my head, like a warm, but sharp lullaby. It didn’t belong to my mother, although it was familiar. I didn’t understand and recognize the words at all. But the sway of the vowels and consonants soothed me regardless, weaving a strange spell around me.
I wasn’t sure if I could trust it, but it felt familiar where everything else was scary and alien. I clung to it, begging it to help me, to protect me.
A hand landed on mine. It felt solid and cold, like a statue, but at the same time I could sense life pulsing underneath the surface, reaching out to me through a unique thread I hadn’t even known was there. The presence didn’t speak to me, but I spoke to it anyway. “Why is this happening? I only ever wanted to help people. I wanted to love and to have a family. Did I just ask for too much? Was I too selfish?”
