Page 70 of Destinies of Diamond
It took me an embarrassing amount of time to get dressed. The healers fussed over me and Jared seemed torn between helping me and caring for Nestor. I shot him a sharp look, and that held him at bay. Finally, I walked out of the infirmary without looking back. Jared followed me, still holding the baby.
A headache started pulsing at the back of my skull. Didn’t Nestor need to be fed and cared for? Surely, Jared wouldn’t prioritize my decision over the life and well-being of the baby.
I must have said that out loud, because Jared decided to explain. “I’m prioritizing my family. Yes, Nestor needs nourishment, but he also needs you. I won’t bring him on the battlefield if that’s where you want to go. But you’re not gone yet.”
No, I supposed I wasn’t, and it was unreasonable and irresponsible of me to just dump the child in Jared’s arms without caring about what would happen. Where did that leave me?
I wanted to cry, because this was so unfair. I’d made my bed and my choice when I’d decided to keep the baby. This was all for his sake, but I was afraid that if I let myself cling to Nestor, I would be unable to fulfill my goals, to keep him safe.
Archibald Chimera intercepted us outside the infirmary. He had been waiting for this moment too. His eyes were covered again, but I knew he could sense my child.
“You’ve done it, Selene. You’ve brought my son into the world.”
It could have allowed him to take the child. I didn’t completely trust Brendan’s uncle, but I did believe that he wanted to protect Nestor.
And yet, when I saw him reach for Nestor, something rebellious rose up inside me. “Myson,” I corrected him, stepping between him and Jared.
Jared handed me the baby without me having to ask for him. Meanwhile, Archibald clenched his fists and scowled at me fiercely. “That child may carry your blood, but that doesn’t change his true ancestry.”
“You don’t own his soul, Medusa. He was born to me. If he remembers, I’ll respect your bond, but I expect you to do the same.”
“And what bond is that, Selene Renard? You want to give him away. You weren’t even looking at him until a moment ago.”
My head hurt. My body ached. I didn’t have the strength for this argument, not right now.
“Just leave me alone. I don’t need to explain myself to you. Nestor is my son and that’s final.”
I hadn’t discussed my child’s name with my lovers. They’d left it up to me, and I hadn’t been able to make a decision until the healer had asked. This particular choice felt right, though. Hopeful. It echoed my wish to have a home, a refuge, somewhere I could shelter this tiny being I’d carried inside me. If only that had been enough.
Fortunately, my lovers were there and ushered Archibald out without me having to force matters. I ended up dropping down on an ornate bench, with several sun spirits hovering around me in concern. My lovers watched me in silence as I cradled Nestor to my chest.
His eyes were like stars, and it would have been so easy to lose myself in them. But I couldn’t do it, just like I couldn’t stay by his side.
My body did produce what Nestor needed, so I ended up feeding my son right there, in the hallway outside the infirmary. He drank greedily, and a pang of grief swept over me when I processed that I’d rejected this before.
What was I supposed to do? I knew the logical way forward, but my heart hurt at the mere idea of having to leave him behind.
As my son finally fell asleep in my arms, sated, my lovers approached me, slow and cautious. “This wasn’t exactly the way I was expecting this to go,” Brendan admitted.
“And what did you expect? That I’d just sit here and wait while you go off on your own? I told you that’s not going to happen, Brendan. You need me. And before we start repeating the same argument, you and I both know we’re running out of time.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to strain yourself like this, Acting Pilot Renard,” Commander Trevor piped up. “I know the situation seems dire, but your health and your family matter.”
I looked at him and not for the first time, wondered why he’d stayed. He was only my teacher. I didn’t have the same bond to him as I did with the others. I’d kissed him once, but I couldn’t remember why I’d done it.
“I know they matter, Sir. That’s exactly why I have to go back to Terra. This isn’t just about me, or about us.”
“Ah.”
One single syllable, and I knew Jared understood what I meant. Maybe he always had, and he just hadn’t wanted to mention it.
“You know it too, don’t you? The Centaur Herd wouldn’t have blindly attacked the temple in New Washington. If they were there, it was for a reason, and they weren’t chasing you.”
“They weren’t after you either, Selene,” Brendan reasoned. “My father had already taken you.”
“Maybe they didn’t know about it. Or maybe they’re just looking for something else. But seriously, Brendan, what are the chances of one random human carrying the blessing of both Gaia and Tartarus, then giving birth to a half-alien child who holds the soul of Pegasus?”
Just the thought was outlandish. A few months ago, when I’d been only an Unblessed, I wouldn’t have deemed it possible. But I realized now that I’d been looking at things all wrong.
