Page 69 of Destinies of Diamond
“Don’t apologize,” Selene replied. “None of this is your fault.”
Jared opened his mouth, clearly intending to take the blame for the whole debacle too. Selene had other ideas. “No. Don’t say anything. I don’t want any regrets between us. This… This burden didn’t come to us just because we made mistakes. Commander Trevor was right. We’re not enemies here, and this would have happened no matter what. We did our best with the information we had at the time.”
“I’m not sure that’s true, Selene, but I suppose it’s too late now to take it back,” August said.
“It is,” Knox offered with a nod. “We have to move forward now, to get our family back.”
“We will,” Selene promised. “The Grand Judiciary isn’t the only one who can control chimeras, remember? We still have an advantage on our side.”
There was a dark tone in her voice, something I didn’t like. I squeezed her harder in my arms and kissed her temple.
I didn’t want that advantage to be her. I didn’t want her to have to do anything that would endanger her. But unfortunately, we might not have a choice.
****
Selene
“Breathe, Selene. Come on, breathe with me. You’re very close now.”
I gritted my teeth, fire dancing at my fingertips as I struggled to not blast away the idiot who was by my side. I failed, but when my power hit Jared, it dissipated harmlessly. “Fuck you!” I screamed. “You had no right to do this to me.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Breathe. I promise you it’ll hurt less.”
Somehow, I doubted that. The contractions had started almost an hour ago and since then, I’d been in constant pain. Even so, I tried to listen to him. He was the apsid—the Heliad—here, and this was a Heliad pregnancy. He might be right.
I inhaled and exhaled, and the familiar scent of flowers filled my nostrils. My head started to spin and the pain dimmed. “There you go,” the apsid healer who was tending to me said encouragingly. “You’re doing so much better. Go on.”
Those flowers… They were the same plants that had once caused me to fall straight into Jared’s arms. They should have made me wary. But their smell was different today, relaxing, and I let it envelop me in a comforting embrace.
It wasn’t powerful enough to completely save me from the agony of childbirth, but it helped. I screamed, pushed, and struggled, but in the end, I persevered and succeeded.
After what seemed like forever, the sound of a baby’s cry filled the medical room. I slumped down on the bed, feeling utterly drained and so empty.
That emptiness had been growing for a while now and I’d tried to fill it with sex and with thinking about my child. But now that the baby was gone, I could feel it even more, clawing at my center, making me want to scream.
“Selene? Are you all right? How do you feel?”
Jared was holding our child and shooting me a concerned look. I had no real answer for him, at least, not one I could vocalize, so I stayed silent.
“Do you want to see him?” Jared tried again.
I did. Gaia help me, I did. But at the same time, I didn’t. That small bundle in Jared’s arms was my child and I loved him. But he was also an obstacle in my path, keeping me from what I needed to do.
Over the last couple of months, my main goal had been to protect my child. That was why I’d fought so hard to escape King Philip. That was why we were here. But the protection I could offer him came with other duties, with something I could no longer ignore.
“Have you named your son, Lady Selene?” the healer asked.
“Nestor,” I offered. The word held far more weight than she’d ever know.
The emptiness surged and I forced myself to stand. My knees shook and my legs almost failed me, but only for a second. My strength returned and I straightened my back, ready for the unavoidable confrontation.
“Lady Selene, what are you doing?” the healer screeched. “You shouldn’t be upright, not now of all times.”
“I’m done with this. I have a job to finish, and I can’t accomplish it here, cradling a baby to my chest.”
“And why are you in a hurry, all of a sudden?” Jared asked. “You have time aplenty to go back to Terra.”
“I don’t, Jared. We might all pretend time hasn’t passed because we’re in the quasar, but we know that’s not true.”
