SAINT
About?
I’m close to your neighborhood. Can we talk in person?
There’s a pause then, and I can just imagine her staring at the phone, trying to make a decision about whether or not she wants to let me in. A minute that seems more like an eternity passes by before she texts me back.
Okay.
I give it a couple of minutes. Trying to think through what the right things are to say. Reminding myself not to let her get under my skin. To focus on what I should say. Then I knock on the door and she opens it, stepping aside, already dressed down with her hair around her shoulders. I want to kiss her already. Pin her up against the wall and prove nothing I’ve been doing has been for show with her, but I remind myself why I’m here.
“I know you said to wait until tomorrow, but I don’t like leaving things unsaid before bed. I just wake up pissed off.” I follow her into the house.
“Okay.” She’s quiet, and watches me from across the living room, or what’s left of it since Drew gutted most of the furniture.
“What happened tonight? Things have been good. We’ve been getting along. Fuck… let’s be honest, we’ve been doing more than getting along.”
She curls the ends of her sleeves under her fingers and stares at the floor.
“I know. We shouldn’t have. I have some sort unresolved infatuation when it comes to you and us doing what we’ve done… It makes it feel real even when I know it’s not. It’s fucking with my head. And we need to stop. That’s not very fair though since it’s been all take on my side, so you know, maybe one last hall pass to even things up and make it fair,” she rambles and then looks up at me.
I stare at her for a moment, trying to decide if I’m understanding her correctly.
“I… are you offering a blow job like you’re closing a fucking deal?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want to be fair.”
“Okay. Let’s back things up. Why were you flirting with McGregor tonight?”
“I wasn’t flirting with him. He was flirting with me. I was just talking to him.”
“And not shutting him down.”
“I told you; it was nice to have someone actually want me.”
“I want you.”
“You want me because I’m here. Not because you really want me. I’m not even your type. For not being interested in Tobias’s sister you were flirting harder with her than you’ve ever pretended to with me.”
“Last I checked I didn’t get on my fucking knees to let her ride my face.”
Her eyes snap up to mine, and she glares at me.
“I knew crossing that line with you was going to be a bad idea.”
“Why?”
“Why? Are you serious? I just told you. You’re you and I’m me. I have this stupid fucking thing for you and pretending like this is fucking with my head. She was freaking gorgeous. Exactly the kind of woman I picture you with. The two of you belong on a red carpet together. I don’t, and I don’t like feeling less-than. I’m already messed up because your best friend cheated on me with half of the city. I’ve only just recovered some of my self-esteem. I don’t have your bulletproof ego. So having to watch my pretend boyfriend flirt with every fucking woman in existence because apparently, no woman can control themselves around you is not fun. I guess at least I know I’m not alone.”
“So you’re jealous.”
“Sure. You could sum it up that way and forget all the nuance, I guess.”
“Jealous because a few women talk to me, and I do nothing to encourage it?”
“Sure. Whatever. You were all smiles with her tonight and with your ex the other night.”
“All smiles… huh…”