Page 117 of West Bound
We spend another hour chatting with the nuns and learning a little bit more about the history of the abbey during the war. Their happiness about the discovery of the relics dulls the abbess’s anger toward me over what Corey’s men did in the wake of my kidnapping, and she agrees to let me stay and return to my old room after Levi explains how pivotal I was in getting them back to the abbey. Only after she berates him thoroughly for pretending to be a priest, that is.
He only speaks in half-truths, focusing on the historical research and paperwork that we found in my family home, and skipping over the complicated path we followed to get them back into their hands. That part I'll have to keep to myself in quietatonement. The last thing I want is for anything to happen to Levi or his friends and family.
It's late when we finish our discussions, well after dinner, and the last boat has departed the island, so the abbess offers Levi a room in the guest wing of the convent for the evening. We say our goodnights and agree to meet for breakfast. A last chance for us to say our goodbyes, and hopefully, I can get through them without falling apart. It already feels odd to watch him walk away this late at night, to no longer be stuck in the same cabin or curled up at his side in the same bed—a place I’d started to think of as home.
But this is my real home, and I have so much work to finish here before I can even start to think about what comes next. So I’d have to let my already mended heart break one last time in hopes that the pieces I put back together are stronger than before. Enough to withstand losing the one man I’m not sure it’s possible to forget, even for a moment.
FIFTY-THREE
Zephyrine
I stepout of the shower, wrapping the towel around me before I tread out into my room to find clothes. I’ve been spoiled by my time at Bull Rush Ranch, the lavish main ranch house with its large showers and soaking tubs, the endless hours of hot water. Even the little heater tank outside at the cabin was less chilly than what we have here in the convent.
It's a small sacrifice in the scheme of things. One I’ll have to adapt to again, along with all the rest. It’s a mounting list that weighs heavily on my heart. So much so that I sat up for three hours tonight, finishing some of the work I’d left behind on my desk when Levi took me from it. I figure it can’t hurt to get on the abbess’s good side on day one, especially if I can keep the goodwill momentum going from the relics.
But for now, I’ve got to try to get some sleep. At least a few hours before the sun comes up. Maybe then, I might not look like death warmed over when I say goodbye to Levi. A hopeful wish that disappears the second I feel a hand cover my mouth and another wrap around my waist.
“Don’t scream,” Levi whispers, his forehead falling to my shoulder. “I couldn’t sleep.”
I wrap my hand around his, and he drops it away from my mouth, letting it fall to our sides. I turn and look at him, wide-eyed and worried, a million thoughts racing through my head.
“No one saw me.” He shakes his head. “And I installed a better lock while I waited for you to get out of the shower.”
“You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry for that.”
“You shouldn’t be in here. If the abbess finds out—” I shake my head.
“She won’t.” He stands by my desk, carefully examining the items lying on top of it and smirking as he picks up the aspergillum. “But if she did, would it be the worst thing to happen?”
“I don’t want a get-out-of-jail-free card. I need to make all of this up to them. They deserve more from me.” I shake my head.
“All the reasons I love you are the same ones that mean I have to lose you.” He sighs, rolling the metal rod in his hand. “Sometimes I wish you were a little less of an angel, you know?”
“You’re not losing me. You’re just putting me back where you found me.” I close the distance between us and run my fingers down his forearm. “Plus, I think we both know I’m not an angel. Unless we’re talking about the vengeful kind.” I give him a sympathetic smile, hoping it quells his doubts.
“The vengeful kind is my favorite.” His eyes drift over my face and land on my lips.
“You should go back to your room. Get some sleep,” I whisper.
“I can’t sleep without you, so there’s no use.” He leans down, his lips brushing over mine in soft strokes, giving me the briefest taste of him before he stops to look at me—a question in his eyes.
“You can’t sleep in here either. Never know what you’ll wake up to. Being tied up. Burned.” I nod to the aspergillum in his hand, and his eyes flash bright with the memory.
“Don’t tease me with a good time, sweetheart.” He kisses the side of my throat, his fingers tracing along the edge of my towel and then twisting around the ends of my damp hair. “You’re already half naked for me. Wet.”
“We shouldn’t. Not in here. It’s wrong.” I point out the obvious, like he doesn’t already know.
“That’s your favorite way to have it.” He slips the aspergillum under my towel and between my thighs, the cool touch of the metal eliciting a gasp. He uses the wand to part me, sliding it through my wetness and letting it roll over my clit. Each rib and rung of the metal adds a new facet of friction.
“Lev.” I say his name like a warning, trying and failing to say more.
I should list all the reasons this is a bad idea. Why he shouldn’t be touching me in this room. Why this shouldn’t feel as good as it does. But I don’t. Instead, I let out a stuttered breath as he takes another pass over my clit. I find myself burying my face against his shoulder, muting my protests, when he nudges my entrance with the tip.
“It’s okay to want it, Zeph.” He coaxes my face free from his shoulder, kissing my lips softly and breathing the words against them when he speaks again. “Just tell me how bad you want to be fucked. How much you need it to ward off the lonely nights here.”
“It’s wrong. That's for holy water. It’s—” I choke on my words as I feel him press it inside me. He works it in and out, taunting me with just enough that I want more, then taking it away again. My breathing’s uneven, and I lick my lips as my fingers dig into his shoulders. My chin drops, and he kisses me again before Ilet out another soft gasp. He pulls it out and rolls it over my clit, daring me to ask for more.
