Page 22 of Dare to Dance
Argh! Those damn blue eyes of his had always caused me to say and do things without thinking. I had almost thrown myself at him. I couldn’t breathe when I saw how good he looked—tall, toned, and muscular. He smelled wonderful too, like sugar and spice. When he recited his lyrics toStar Light, Star Bright, the tears blasted out before I could stop them. He’d said our nursery rhyme with such conviction that I almost believed he had feelings for me. But my tears quickly dried when he asked about the baby. All the anger I harbored for him rushed back quicker than a runaway train. I’d almost jumped off the stairs and cold-cocked him. Particularly, since he had been responsible for my nine-hundred-dollar loss.
I whipped out an old photo of Raven before she’d gone into foster care. Seeing her always helped to calm me. I smoothed my finger over her picture. Her black hair was pulled up in a ponytail, her blues eyes were framed by the longest lashes, and she had her hands on her hips, posing as if she was modeling a new outfit. A tear spilled down my cheek. I was a terrible mother. I shouldn’t have been stealing with her at my side. Maybe Norma was right. Maybe I should talk to Kross and tell him everything, dump my problems on him so he could take care of Raven and me. Maybe he was my ticket to getting Raven back.
The jangle of change caused me to look up. A young girl, who looked to be about ten years old, smiled at me. Then she removed her yellow scarf and handed it to me. “This will keep you warm.”
More tears streamed down my face. “You keep it, sweetie. It’s cold out here.”
Her mom ran up, bundled in her own winter gear. “Jenny?”
“She looks cold, Mommy.”
The lady nodded at me with sad green eyes. “Please, take the scarf. She doesn’t like seeing homeless people.” Then she pulled out her wallet and gave me two ten-dollar bills. “This is for a warm meal.”
Tears continued to spill as I took the money. The change in my cup added up to maybe three dollars, and Norma and I needed to eat. Since the night of the fight, we’d only found stale bread as our sustenance. “Thank you.”
Jenny wrapped the scarf around me. Then her mom grabbed her hand. The little girl waved as they merged into pedestrian traffic.
I tightened the soft fabric around me. It smelled of baby powder, reminding me of Raven. More tears dropped. I stuffed away her photo before I became a blubbering frozen mess on the street.
Out of nowhere, Norma bounded up. She’d ducked into a diner a block away to apply for a waitressing position. She sat down then felt my scarf. “That was nice of the little girl to give this to you. So, any luck?” She peeked into the cup. “Mmm. Not much. Hey, why are you crying? Have you been staring at Raven’s picture again? Or thinking about her hot daddy?” She buttoned her oversized men’s coat that we’d found while raiding a donation bin.
I ignored her questions. “Did they let you fill out an application?”
“Yeah. But they don’t have any openings.” Norma wiped her nose with the back of her gloved hand. “Have you thought anymore about going to see Kross?”
“No.” It would have been so easy to depend on Kross, and so wonderful to have him in my life again. The thought of being a family with him and Raven was fantastic. But I couldn’t depend on him or anyone else. I had to show my daughter I could be a good mother. Most of all, I was in no physical condition to see Kross. No way. No how. Not ever.
“Ruby.” Norma’s tone dropped like it normally did when she didn’t agree with me. “He can help you. You didn’t see the despair written all over his face the other night. The man was begging me to tell him something.”
I didn’t need to see his face. Norma and I had heard Kross swear at the top of his lungs as we’d run from Firefly. While his pain tugged at my heartstrings, two things waged a war inside me. His apology was weak at best. I got the feeling he’d said he was sorry for not returning my calls because he wanted to know about the baby. Second, I couldn’t figure out how he knew about Raven, and I was worried that he might try to get custody of her.
“Again, I’m not ready. Please tell me you won’t go over to that gym you said he worked at and rat me out.” Or maybe Norma was the one who had found Kross and told him about Raven and where I would be. As quickly as that thought entered my head, I let it go. We were like sisters, and we trusted one another.
“I’m not a tattler. But I can’t promise you I won’t go over to that gym and check things out.” She giggled then waggled her eyebrows.
I snarled. “Don’t you dare.” Knowing Kross, he would give her his puppy dog eyes or his sad face like he used to do to me when he wanted to know what was bothering me.
“I was kidding. I promise.”
I jumped up. “Let’s go.” My butt was frozen from sitting on the cold concrete. I had twenty dollars in my pocket. Any hot meal would thaw me out and get rid of my hunger pangs.
“We should hang for another hour. We only have a couple of dollars in the cup.”
I pulled out the wadded-up ten-dollar bills.
She scowled. “You didn’t pickpocket some dude, did you?”
I was good at stealing, but it wasn’t something I was proud of, and I only stole when we were desperate. “That little girl’s mom gave it to me.”
She plastered on a hungry smile. “Where to?”
We started walking. “Tommy’s place.”
“Are you crazy?” she asked. “That place is a dive. Unless you have something else up your sleeve.”
“Hear me out. No one is going to hire us. But Tommy owns Firefly. Maybe he’ll give us a shot at a waitressing or let us work in the kitchen.” I knew my way around a kitchen. My mom had taught me to cook when I was twelve. Actually, I loved to bake. But I would clean the bathrooms if it meant a steady job and money in my pocket.
“Fine.” Norma eyed me. “As long as you don’t fight.”
