Page 38 of Dare to Dance
Her gaze was steadfast, piercing as she popped off the sink. “If you only tracked me down to find out if I was pregnant, then get out of my life.” She blew past me, bumping her shoulder into my bicep.
I caught her wrist. “Wait.”
“For what? You don’t want to know how I’m doing. You haven’t even asked me. You want one thing, and I’m sorry. I can’t give it to you. If you’re looking for a baby, then you’ll be looking for a ghost.”
My pulse kicked into high gear. “Are you saying we don’t have a child?” Over the last two weeks, I had grown accustomed to the idea that I could be a dad.
She closed her eyes, her delicate nostrils flaring.
I used that brief moment to wrap my arms around her. Then I tensed every muscle in my body, waiting for the onslaught of whatever she was about to dish out, whether emotionally or physically.
But she didn’t fight. She didn’t run. She didn’t even protest. She wrapped her arms around my waist. She sniffled as she buried her head into my chest as though she was trying to get inside of me. I rested my chin on her head, inhaling a faint aroma of strawberries. Her scent took me back four years when being with her made me smile, made me temporarily forget death, my sister, my mom’s problems, and everything else our family had been through.
“Please, Ruby. Talk to me. I’ve been a crazed man for two weeks. I don’t know which way is up anymore. I can’t box. I can’t sleep. I can’t do anything. I’ve got to know if I’m a father.”
She jerked out of my hold. Emotion after emotion shuddered across her face with fury taking the lead. “Again, you’re not going to ask me how I’ve been?” Her voice rose, almost blaring as a tear slipped down her face. “You left me, Kross. You went back to your life. Not once did you return my calls. Not once did you even write a letter. If you didn’t want anything to do with me, then why didn’t you man up? All that bravado you and your brothers exuded, and you couldn’t even tell a girl you didn’t want to see her anymore?” She shook her head in either disgust or pity. It didn’t matter which because she was so fucking right. “I thought we were friends, and friends don’t just leave without even a good-bye.” She pursed her chapped lips together. “So many calls. So many nights I didn’t sleep. I cried for months. Everything changed after I told you I loved you. Was I just a piece of meat? The time we spent together, didn’t it mean something?”
I’d been nowhere near falling in love with any girl. “You know how fucking scared I was when you said you missed your period? Don’t you remember what I was going through with my family? My mom? I couldn’t get serious with anyone.”
“You could’ve at least told me we were done. Instead, you drove away, not even looking back.”
“Damn it.” My voice shook. “You lied to me.”
Her expression hardened. “I never lied to you. You never gave me a chance to tell you what I needed to tell you.”
I opened my arms. “Well, I’m standing here now.”
“Now is not good enough. You can’t fix me. You can’t change the last four years. The high and mighty Maxwell brothers. You boys thought your shit didn’t stink. You and your brothers got any girl you wanted. Butyouzeroed in on me. Did I have a sign on my forehead that said, ‘I’m a sucker. Pick me.’” She growled. “Well guess what? You can’t waltz into my life and think I’m going to drop everything for you or tell you what you want to know. I suffered. Now you can.” She stuck out her chin. “When you’re ready to have a conversation about us and not a baby, then you know where to find me.” With her head held high, she crossed the large warehouse floor, her footsteps thumping as fast as my pulse.
I pounded my fist against a cement column.Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.I’d told her I was sorry. I wasn’t sure what else to do.
The echo of her footsteps began to fade.
“Ruby! I don’t want to fix you.” I said it so fucking loud that my voice sounded like a sonic boom. “I was serious when I told my brother Kelton on the phone earlier that you were beautiful. After all these years, the sight of you still gets me hot.” Dirty, clean, pale, glowing, curvy, or rail thin, her presence did something to me. I chalked up the fluttering feeling to the beauty in her eyes, the spots of freckles that dotted her cheeks, and a smile that could knock me to the ground in one second.
Her retreating form stopped near the door.
I sighed heavily as I ran to her. “That’s the truth.” I prayed she heard the conviction in my voice. I knew she didn’t know Kross, the man. She only knew Kross, the boy, the sixteen-year-old who hadn’t seen past his own problems to open up to a girl. Sure, we’d talked about my family, but I’d never gone into detail about how I felt when my sister died or how I’d felt when my mom had entered into a mental health facility. I never could bring myself to say ‘I love you,’ not when I was confused and wasn’t sure. Even so, Ruby held a place in my heart. She’d been my shining star amid the darkness in my life.
She turned to face me, her expression tempered, although her bottom lip quivered every now and then.
“I’m the one who needs to be fixed.” I pointed to my chest. “I’m the one who’s the jerk. I’m sorry for not calling you back. When I was up at the academy a few weeks ago, I went to look for you to apologize for being a royal dick.” I closed the distance between us until four inches separated us. “I can’t change the past. I know I don’t deserve your attention, but I would like to start somewhere. I want to get to knowyouagain.” It was the truth, and not just because I needed answers about a kid.
She locked her fingers together. “Why? What’s changed?”
“The butterflies for one.” I grinned. “They’re crazier than when I first met you at the academy.” Another truth.
She glanced away. “Don’t do that.”
I placed my forefinger under her chin. “Do what?”
She slowly peered up at me. “Flash me that dimple of yours.”
I frowned teasingly, my heart swelling with happiness that I still affected her.
“I’m homeless, Kross. I’m not beautiful like you think I am or like your girlfriend. I’ve only been sleeping at Alex’s place for three days. I’m not sure how much longer that will last. So don’t you dare feel sorry for me or offer me a place. I’m just laying out my cards. If you want to get to know me again, then you need to know empty, abandoned buildings are my home. Dark alleys are comforting to me. I walk miles around the city. I eat out of dumpsters. I beg for change. All that is part of my daily routine.”
A knife-like pain twisted several ways inside my chest. I hated that her life hadn’t turned out as she’d planned. “Then I’ll sleep in this warehouse with you. I’ll roam the streets with you.” I was so fucking serious. I couldn’t change who Ruby was, but I could show her how serious I was about rekindling our relationship.
