Page 46 of Dare to Dance
I locked my jaw. “What?” Surprises were popping up everywhere. “You’ve been in jail?”
“How do you think I get food? You think I can walk into a restaurant and get served for free? I can’t eat out of dumpsters every night.” A chord of sarcasm threaded through her voice. “I’m not Penelope. She strikes me as a girl who would get what she wanted even if she was homeless.”
“Stop comparing yourself to Penelope,” I said in a firm tone. “You’re beautiful on the inside and outside.” Silence ticked for a beat. I softened my voice. “What happened to you, Ruby?”
She scanned the room just as she’d done at Firefly when she saw me from across the bar, no doubt searching for a way out of the gym. Then her eyes closed as her chest rose. When she opened her eyes and set her sights on me, peace replaced the frustration she’d had a moment ago as though whatever internal battle she’d had going on had been resolved. “If you want answers, then pick me up next Thursday. I’d like to show you something near my old house.”
“In the Berkshires? But that’s Thanksgiving. Why don’t you join my family and me?” I would prep my family not to grill her. Maybe by hanging with us, she would see I wasn’t that scared boy anymore. She would see that family meant everything to me. “We can also talk quietly before dinner down by the lake behind my house.”
She let out a nervous laugh. “No way.”
“Then show me before then or on Friday.”
“I can’t. I have to work at Firefly up until Wednesday, and the weekends are always packed. It’s okay. Look, thank you for tonight. I’ve got to run. I promised Norma I wouldn’t be long.” She climbed out of the ring.
I could beg, but she wouldn’t listen. “Remember to block,” I said instead. “Anticipate her moves, and keep your opponent guessing.”
She sashayed to the locker room.
What the fuck had just happened?Your manly ego got in the way, moron.
“Ruby,” I called.
She tossed a blank look over her shoulder.
“Wear those clothes. It will be easier for you to move around. Oh, and I’ll be there on Saturday night.”
She tilted her head. “Norma said you were banned from Firefly.”
“So?” No amount of cops, Tommy, or even the dipshit bartender, Pete, would keep me from watching over Ruby.
14
Ruby
Iwaitedat the entrance to Boston Public Garden on Arlington Street for my social worker, Ms. Waters, who’d been assigned to my case. My supervised visits with Raven were at the garden. Apparently, Raven’s foster family lived nearby, and they had been taking her to see the ducks and swans every Saturday. So, Ms. Waters recommended we meet there. I didn’t mind at all. I had a great time seeing the excitement on Raven’s face when she saw a swan or a duck or any wildlife. More importantly, I enjoyed holding Raven’s hand as we walked the grounds, feeling at peace, feeling protected from the outside world, and just being a mom… even if it were for only an hour or two.
People ventured in through the gates to my left. An elderly couple lingered for a moment, talking about the George Washington Statue behind me. Then the old man readied his phone camera before he snapped a picture.
“Ruby,” Ms. Waters called from my right.
“Mommy.” Raven’s sweet voice penetrated through me, sending an ocean of warmth to my heart. Sixteen days since I’d last seen my daughter, and I swore time had moved in slow motion. I crouched down as she ran to me, throwing her tiny arms around my neck.
“I’ve missed you, baby girl.” Tears shot out without warning as I inhaled her powdery scent, hugging her as if she was my last breath.
She let go of me and gave me a quizzical expression. “When are you taking me home?”
I tugged her pink knitted hat down over her ears. Then I smoothed my hands over her long black hair that spilled around her shoulders. “Soon.” I swallowed the mountain in my throat, praying that soon meant next week.
I knew better. I gave Ms. Waters a cursory glance as she loomed over us. She was in her mid-forties and wore black-rimmed glasses that hid the lines around her brown eyes. Her light-brown hair was pulled back into a bun, exposing more lines on her forehead. She’d counseled me that my case could stretch out for six months or more, depending on my living situation. She was a nice woman. She was honest, direct, and seemed to want the best for Raven.
Ms. Waters’s red-painted lips spread into a pitiful smile. “Let’s walk. Raven, would you like to see the ducks?”
Raven’s blue eyes went wide as her lone dimple emerged. “Swans, too?”
A pain clamped down on my chest. When I looked at Raven, I saw Kross. I had since she was born, although anger had always come with my visions of him. But not at that moment. All I could think about was the three of us becoming a family. I didn’t know the odds of that. I wanted to believe that Kross and I could work out our differences, and that I could get past my anger.
I had almost given into him when he came close to kissing me the other night. At the last minute, I’d gone from confident to coward, but not because I didn’t want his lips on mine. It was more out of fear that if I kissed him, I would want forever. I wasn’t certain forever with him was possible. When I’d tensed in his arms, sadness and hurt washed over him. He’d covered up his emotions quickly by getting all bossy on me. I believed deep, deep down in the recesses of my soul that he cared for me. I believed he was trying to right a wrong even before he knew about a supposed child. That alone meant I had a place in his heart, at least to me.
