Page 59 of Dare to Dance
“Absolutely. It’s clear that you’re more than surprised. I wanted you to have time to process the news before you met Raven. That way, the time spent today would be getting to know her, not asking why, what, when, and any other questions you have mulling in your head.” She angled her dark head at Ruby. “I specifically told you to make sure you had a conversation with him prior to today.”
“Can you give Kross and me a minute?” Ruby asked Ms. Waters.
Ms. Waters held out her hand to Raven as she scowled at Ruby. “Let’s go find the ducks.”
Raven beamed from ear to ear, and my heart followed. I had to shake off the nerves, confusion, and every other fucking emotion that gripped me by the throat and squeezed so fucking hard that I could barely breathe. As Raven and Ms. Waters left, I walked around the George Washington Statue.
When I came around to the front of the iconic piece, Ruby was standing there, wiping tears away. “Kross, I’m sorry.”
“Is she my daughter?” My voice broke. I knew the answer. I was the father. Raven was the spitting image of my mother. Not only that, she looked like me, Kody, and Kelton.Fuck me.I drove a hand through my hair and pulled. “Well?” I wanted her to say it. I wanted her to start talking and telling me why she’d told me she wasn’t pregnant when she was.
Ruby’s lips trembled. “When I told you I wasn’t pregnant, that was the truth that I believed. I thought I’d gotten my period. I spotted for two days, but it wasn’t a normal period. I chalked it up to stress and ballet practice and getting ready for my performance.” She dashed away more tears. “Then the next month came, and no period. My body started changing. And…” She inhaled all the cool air she could. “You are the father.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” As soon as the words left my mouth, another word came to mind.Schmuck.I’d never returned her frantic calls. I’d completely ignored her.
She narrowed her watery eyes. “Seriously? If you would’ve picked up your phone or answered my damn calls—”
“I get that part. But four years, Ruby. What happened in that time that you couldn’t track me down?”
She pointed to the lagoon. Raven and Ms. Waters were watching the ducks that were gliding down the water. “A baby. Being a new mom. Dealing with my father in jail. Then my mom got busted for selling drugs like my dad. Anger at you. Fear if I did tell you, then you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. Fear you would take Raven away from me. Each time I got the courage to find you, something happened.”
“Why now? It’s been clear you don’t want anything to do with me.”
“It’s not like that.” Her voice softened. “I’ve been confused and selfish and angry and scared. But every time I look at Raven, I see you. Every time she smiles, I see you. My heart breaks each time. Then you show up in my life. Those feelings I had for you in high school just sat dormant until I opened my eyes that day after my first fight. My heart flipped out. When you told me you still get butterflies around me, I feel the same around you. I’m not a bad mother. I’m not a monster. I want Raven to know her daddy. I just had to get over my anger toward you. I don’t want her living in foster care. I screwed up when I got caught stealing food for us. Now she’s paying for it. If you want to take her away from me and fight for sole custody, I wouldn’t blame you.” She bowed her head as she covered her face with her hands and started crying.
I brought my hands up to my mouth, dragging them down my chin as I looked up at the clouds rolling in, much like the rolling in my stomach. I wanted to go to Ruby and tell her that… I didn’t know what I wanted to tell her. My thoughts were a fucking jumbled mess. I needed space. I needed to get out of there. I had to think. Granted, I had been processing the idea that I had a kid on this planet. But the realization of the truth, seeing Raven, trying to figure out what my next move would be, was all too much for my brain.
“You introduced me as your friend. Why not tell her I’m her father?” That information should come from Ruby since Raven didn’t know me at all.
“Honestly, I’m protecting her feelings until we can work this out. Don’t get me wrong. You are the father. But if you get cold feet, I don’t want her hurt.”
I couldn’t argue with that. I wasn’t running, though. Then again, I wasn’t sure what I would do.
“Kross.” My name carried on the strong breeze from Raven’s lips.
I parked my state of mind for the moment and absorbed the little girl running toward me.
Rather than jumping into my arms like she’d done with Ruby, she stopped and pointed to the water. “There’s a swan over there.”
A shard of hurt gripped my chest that she didn’t run into my arms as she did with Ruby. I craved to hold her and give her a big bear hug. “Hi.” I crouched down. “Do you like swans?”
Her mesmerizing blue eyes glimmered as her little dimple emerged, showing baby white teeth. Fireworks went off inside me. This little girl was part of me. I’d helped to create her.
Holy Fuck!
“And ducks, birds, lizards, dogs, and cats, and bumble bees.”
Kelton would be stoked when he learned Raven had a thing for lizards. “Bumble bees?” I pushed a stray bang out of her eyes.
“Yep. Mommy says they sting. I just like their colors.”
A warmth blanketed me. My brothers were going to fall in love with Raven.Oh, shit.My parents were too.Oh, shit.I had to break the news to my parents.
“We need to go,” Ms. Waters said.
Raven ran into Ruby’s arms. “Mommy, I don’t want to leave you,” she cried.
My heart fucking broke as I pushed to my feet. Ruby was right. Raven needed to be with family. She needed to be with me.
