Page 60 of Dare to Dance
“I know, baby.” Ruby’s voice broke. “I promise I’ll see you soon.”
“Kross,” Ms. Waters said. “I know this is a lot to process. When and if you’re ready, call me.” She handed me a business card. “We can talk about the next steps to get Raven out of foster care. You’ll need a lawyer. Then we’ll need to prove that you’re the father.”
I pocketed the card. “Thank you.” I joined Ruby and Raven. “I have to go. It was nice meeting you, Raven.”
“You’re leaving?” Ruby asked.
I wanted to stay and get to know Raven. I wanted to run around with her, watch the ducks, show her some lizards, and even play dolls with her.
“Sorry. The family is expecting me back in Ashford.” For a miniscule second, I thought about inviting Ruby. I couldn’t. I needed to be alone and wrap my head around how my life was about to change. Then I had to break the news to my family.
17
Kross
The drivewayat my parents’ house was teeming with cars. The entire family was there, including Lacey and Lizzie. On occasion, we had family from out of town visit us for Thanksgiving. Not this year. According to Mom, my aunts and uncles had other things going on.
I parked behind Lacey’s Mustang, cut the engine, and held onto the steering wheel. I banged my head against my knuckles, once, twice, three times.Fuck.I had a daughter. The most beautiful little girl I’d ever seen. I had no idea how to break the news to my parents. I mustered all the courage I could as I climbed out of my truck. My parents were understanding individuals. They had big hearts. Yet all I could envision was how disappointed my old man would be, and that would gut me. He’d always counseled us boys to be practical and prepare for anything. He’d told us as growing teenagers to always wear protection when having sex and to always treat people with respect. I’d missed the mark on being prepared when Ruby and I had first had sex. It was the only fucking time I hadn’t worn a condom.
I plodded up the stairs to the back deck and found a sticky note on the sliding glass door.Down by the lake. Waiting on you.
I trudged along the path around the garage, my heartbeat on a course to shoot out of my chest. Tall trees swayed and rustled around the rippling water of the lake. The sun cast its late afternoon rays down before it disappeared for the night. In the forefront of the calming scenery, my family sat around a campfire. Their voices, laughter, and the strum of Kody’s guitar trickled on the wind.
I stilled on the grassy incline. I couldn’t break up their happy evening. I couldn’t stand to erase the smile from my mom’s face or to even look at her. As soon as I did, I would see Raven, her thick black hair, her sparkling blue eyes, and a smile that knocked me backward. For sure, I would lose my shit as though my mom had taken my bottle away from me when I was a baby. Not to mention, the news of Raven might be too upsetting for her mental health. She’d been doing so well lately.
I had a daughter.
A sharp voice in my head bit out the words,man up. Famous advice from either Kade or my old man. How could I man up to anything when I didn’t even know how to be a father? I started to backtrack as nausea toyed with my stomach, spinning, churning, and waiting for the right moment to expel the contents of what I’d done.
Everyone was enjoying Kody’s ballad as he picked at his guitar, crooning, “You’re the Only One For Me.”
As I took another step backward, Lacey spotted me and waved. “Kross is here.”
The blood rushed everywhere but my heart. I gulped in small breaths then let them out slowly. Orange and deep blues streaked across the sky, providing plenty of light to see the panic on my face. I feigned a smile as I put one foot in front of the other. That swirling in my stomach increased like the raging whitewater rapids we’d rafted on as kids.
I had a daughter, an out-of-this-world beautiful creature that was part of me.
Fuck.
I forced my facial muscles to relax, shoved my hands in my jeans pockets, and tacked on a smile as I walked up to the group. Kelton and Kade, who’d been lounging with their girls in their arms, sat upright as though they were ready to catch me. Kody eyed me warily.
“You’re late.” Dad pushed his honey-colored hair off his forehead.
“Martin.” My mom squeezed his thigh. “We didn’t have a set time.” Her long black hair framed her face as she gave me one of her award-winning smiles that always warmed my heart.
I diverted my gaze to the fire that danced, crackled, and spit embers up, the wind taking them away. I wished the wind would take away the myriad of emotions that was lodged in my throat, stomach, head, and heart.
Concern slashed my mom’s delicate features. “Is something wrong, honey?”
Images of Raven bombarded me. I had a daughter. I couldn’t get those four words to go away. Maybe, the more I said them, the more I would believe them.Fuck.She was real. Paternity test or not, that little girl, who was worming her way into my heart, was a Maxwell. I knew in my soul that she was mine.
“Bro,” Kade said on my left. “You look like—”
“You’ve seen a ghost,” Lacey finished for him, her green eyes swimming with worry.
“He’s been like that for two weeks,” Lizzie added, tucking strands of her dark hair behind her ear.
I made a mental note to apologize to Lizzie. I lived with her, Kelton, and Kade, and I’d been curt with her on two occasions. Kelton had said she was worried about me. I’d learned from him that Lizzie wasn’t good with secrets. So I’d asked Kelton to keep a lid on the situation with Ruby and the notion that I could be a father, at least until I knew for sure.
