Page 27 of Unforgettable
I glanced around the room, finding all the women with jealous looks on their faces.
So much for not drawing attention to me.
I went in search of a beer or hard liquor, whatever I could get my hands on first—anything to calm my nerves, anger, and lust, although the latter wouldn’t go away until Ryker James had his way with me.
9
Ryker
Icovered my face in my hands as I sat in the front row of the church. I felt dizzy, nauseated, and so fucking angry. I didn’t know how I’d gotten from the house to the church. My body was about to give out.
I didn’t want to look at the pictures on the four coffins in front of me. I didn’t want to listen to the speeches that some of our close family friends were about to deliver. I didn’t want to hear anything except my sister Leigh’s voice, or my mom’s, or any of them.
“Ryker, you got to be kidding me.” That had been Leigh’s line many times. “You can’t go out with girls who only want you for your body.”
I would laugh and ruffle her hair with my hand, something I’d done many times since she was a kid.
Franklin was on my left, bouncing his knee. My aunt Kari was on my right, rubbing my back, which did nothing to take away the pain I was feeling.
Since I’d left the sorority party four days ago, I’d been a hermit. As the funeral drew near, I couldn’t function. I couldn’t even go to practice like I’d thought I could. I had thought running, working out, and throwing the ball would help, but I’d barely been able to get out of bed. Plus, I didn’t want to see the sorrow on the faces of my teammates.
“Take the week off,” Coach Chapman had ordered. “Actually, take as much time as you need.”
I would need a lifetime before my head was screwed on properly again. Still, I hated that I hadn’t played in our first game of the season, which had been the day before. It was probably best for the team, although the loss yesterday wasn’t a great way to start the season.
“Why don’t you sit back?” Aunt Kari asked softly.
I shook my head, lowered my hands, and eyed the woman who resembled my mom only younger. “I can’t. I’m not sure I can even sit through this whole service.” I’d thought about bagging the funeral, but then I would be a schmuck. I would be dishonoring my family, and my old man would be so disappointed.
“Ryker,” Franklin whispered as the sounds of rustling behind me scraped along my nerves. “Are you going to be able to speak?”
I straightened, staring at my brother’s picture. His gray eyes stared back. The boy had only been fourteen, into football, baseball, and basketball. He’d loved video games and learning how to play golf with my dad. He’d even loved to cook, something my mom had taught him.
“Probably not.” I had a speech ready, but I couldn’t get up there and talk or say one word.
“I’ll let the pastor know, then,” Franklin said.
“Have you even cried yet?” Aunt Kari asked. “You need to let out all the pent-up emotion.”
Easier said than done.“I’m dealing.” If she or Franklin brought up that liquor wasn’t a way to cope, I would go off like a madman.
Franklin shifted in his seat. “This place is packed.”
I was afraid to look. I knew the football team would be there. I knew Coach Chapman would be too. I also suspected several of my friends from high school had shown up. I’d gone to school in this town, and my family and I knew lots of folks. When I’d been offered a free ride to one of the big universities in California, I’d turned them down. I had wanted to go to Lakemont University whether I had a full ride or not because I’d wanted to stay close to my family.
Lucas had also factored into my decision. We’d promised each other since high school that we would play football together. The university in Cali that had wanted me had turned him down. Money was tight for him and his family, and the tuition at Lakemont was reasonable for in-state students.
Some of my friends had thought I was crazy not to take a full ride to a NCAA Division I school. But as much as I wanted to play football, I also wanted to be around my family, and I could do both right there in Lakemont.
A hand gripped my shoulder from behind. “How you holding up, man?” Lucas asked.
I turned slightly, my gaze bouncing around the room.Wow!Standing room only.
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I jumped up and ran around the altar to the restroom. My family and I had never been devout churchgoers, but Mom and Dad had attended this church occasionally.
Once inside the restroom, I splashed water on my face.
The door squeaked open before Lucas appeared. He was dressed in a sharp black suit like me, with a white shirt and black tie. His wild curls were slicked back.
