Page 15 of Dare to Embrace
My heart fell out of my chest. The last time she pulled away from me, she’d wanted nothing to do with me.
I trailed on her heels. “Lace?” She wasn’t physically hurt, so someone had upset her.
She plunked her purse on the island and wiped the tears that had begun streaming down her face.
I had to touch her, hold her, console her, and tell her everything would be okay. At least I prayed like a motherfucker that we could get through whatever was bothering her. But when I approached her, she walked away again until she was on the other side of the island.
My heart stopped as memories bombarded me of the time in high school when we’d gotten into a major fight.
She got up and paced in front of the TV. “I’ve lived through finding the dead bodies of people I loved dearly. I’ve pushed hard in the last year to get where I am. I’m not perfect.” She stuck her hands on her hips and pinned a deathly look on me. “I’ll always have memories, nightmares, and symptoms of PTSD.” Her face reddened. “How can I heal or face my fears when the one person I love, who’s supposed to support me and help me, chooses to make the choices that are not his to make?”
I hopped off the couch and moved toward her. She backed away. I was about to lose it. I hated that she wouldn’t let me touch her. I grabbed my hair with both my hands.
At that moment, I wasn’t pulling on my hair. But I was tempted to punch my fist into our shiny stainless-steel fridge.
I inhaled through my nose, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans so Lacey wouldn’t see me shaking. I wished I could say I wasn’t a bundle of nerves, but the truth was I was fucking angry and gutted at her sudden coldness.
“If our marriage is over, tell me now.” The words rolled off my tongue easily, which was stupid because I couldn’t fathom why I would even think something like that. And we hadn’t argued. We hadn’t even spoken about her call with Tara yet.
Her jaw hit the granite top. “What!”
I pursed my lips as I settled against the copper sink. I had to have something to keep me upright because my knees were shaking. “You heard me.” My voice didn’t sound like my own.
She shuddered, licking her lips. “Why would you even think that?”
I shrugged. “Why won’t you let me touch you? If you recall, the last time you wouldn’t let me touch you, you stormed out of my house, and not long after that, you broke up with me.”
Her eyes went wide. “You don’t forget the smallest of details. Do you?”
“Not when they stop my heart from beating and surely not when it comes to you.” I knew every single detail about Lacey Maxwell.
Her eyes slid shut for a second. “I’m sorry. I have something to tell you that will make you upset.”
“About you playing Triple-A,” I said.
She reared back. “How do you know? Did you talk to Tara?”
“Kross told me. He overheard some players from the Pawtucket Red Sox who were at the gym. They dropped your name and Triple-A.”
Her beautiful features were scrunched in every direction. “But only Tara knows.”
“Apparently not. But the bigger issue is what does this mean for starting our family?”
Shaking her head, she dashed a tear away with her fingers. “I don’t know.”
I pushed off the sink and planted my hands on the island that stood between us. “Lace, I’m not waiting another two years or three or five or ten to have a family. I’m sorry, baby. I’m not budging on this.” Somehow, I’d managed to say all of that in a calm tone.
She jutted out her chin defiantly. “So you’re not supporting my career any longer? Is that what you’re saying?”
I dragged my hands through my hair as thunder boomed outside. I felt as though my heart beat with it. “We have a plan, Lace. That plan starts next year. That’s as long as I’m willing to wait.”
She sucked in a sharp breath. “Or what?” Her nostrils flared, anger jumping off her by leaps and bounds.
“Then I guess you need to figure out what’s more important—us or baseball.” Again, my tone was even. My pulse, not so much. The damn beat of my heart was pounding in my ears.
She worried her bottom lip. “And if I choose baseball?”
I pushed out a shoulder. “Then I guess we don’t want the same things.”
