Page 12 of Crazy for You
I considered myself nice looking, but I wasn’t beautiful like Amanda Gelling. Maybe Grady was right. Maybe I did look like a boy.
Nan rose and took my hand. “Come with me.”
I had no idea where we were going until something hit me. Maybe she was taking me next door to Colton.
I tugged my hand away. “I should go see Dad.”
“This will only take a minute.” She crossed the hall and went into the bathroom. “Come here, please.”
My shoulders slumped as I joined her in front of the sink.
She flicked on the lighted mirror. “I want you to tell me what you see.”
“Why? I know what I look like.” Short brown, streaked with blond and cut above my ears. Brown eyes that were red around the edges, and a nose as red as Rudolph’s.
She gripped my shoulders from behind. “Do you?”
We locked eyes through the mirror.
“I sense a bit of low self-esteem. And for as long as I’ve known you, I have yet to see someone who thinks they’re not good enough.”
I was strong and feisty when I had to be. But I was also quiet and reserved. It all depended on the situation. But maybe she was right. Since I’d laid eyes on Colton, I’d been a little out of sorts. “I just feel… I haven’t been interested in a guy before now.”
“I understand. They can bring out emotions in you that you never knew you had.”
Colton definitely did that. Since that morning, I’d experienced tingles, butterflies, heart-pounding nerves, and even sweating.
“Well,” she said, “if you need to talk, I’m a good listener. But please do me a favor. Never, ever think you’re not beautiful. Because you are.”
“What if he doesn’t see me as such?”
“Then he’s an idiot and not right for you.”
I frowned because I should have been talking about boys with Mom.
Nan rested her delicate fingers under my chin and lifted. “Smile.”
I didn’t want this to morph into a depressing convo about Mom, so I turned and hugged her. “Thank you.” In some ways, I needed her as much as Dad did. She was becoming a light in our darkness. “Nan, when that time comes, can I live with you?”
She moved strands of my hair out of my eyes. “I don’t think that’s possible. Don’t get me wrong—I would love for you to—but I think your dad has other plans.”
I shoved down the need to cry again. I didn’t want to live with his sister in California. Above all else, I couldn’t leave my friends behind. “I can talk to him.” Not that I wanted to talk about life after Dad.
“You’ll be eighteen in what, eleven months, right?”
“Yeah. End of July next year.” I’d just turned seventeen a month before. Nan had baked me a lemon cake.
“Let’s take one moment at a time. I know that doesn’t help, but we can’t look that far out. If we do, we’ll make ourselves sick. Enjoy the time with your dad as much as possible. But I also want you to have fun with your friends. It’s your senior year, after all.”
Dad grunted loudly, the sound coming through the baby monitor she had in her scrubs. That was his way of saying he needed help or wanted something.
She started for the door, pushing her glasses higher up on her nose.
“Nan, thank you for all that you do for Dad and me.”
She blinked several times, no doubt trying not to cry. “I’m so glad I took this job. I’m here anytime for you. Okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll be in to see him in a minute.” It was time to put on a happy face and get myself together, but that was becoming more and more of a challenge.
