Page 68 of The Rebirth
“It’s too late to save her.” My tone was harsh and cold. “You can leave. I’m not going anywhere right now.” Or ever. I might lock myself in my apartment and shut the outside world from even seeping in to ruin any more of my life or my kids’ lives.
Agnes left, then Abbey glided in with tearstained cheeks and sat on the floor near the door. “I’m sorry, Uncle Sam.”
It wounded me to hear the pain in her voice that made it sound as if she blamed herself.
“My dream last night was about Layla. But I only saw her lying on the bed and Dr. Vieira trying to revive her.”
I hated that my niece had nightmares about the people in her life dying.
A knock on the apartment door echoed into the room. “Sam,” Jo called loudly, emotion choking her voice as she graced the doorway with red rimming her silver eyes. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”
Abbey greeted her mom with a distressed hug as I set Rorie in her crib.
The air was thick with grief, pity, and misery, and I was choking on it all.
“Can you watch the kids for a minute?” I asked Jo. I had to close myself in a dark space and not see or feel anyone’s emotions but my own.
“Of course,” she said, moving out of the way as I stumbled past her. “I love you, brother,” she said to my back.
I wished her words helped, but nothing would take away the grief stabbing me over and over again.
Tears streaming down my face, I threw myself into my bedroom and locked the door. The second I was inside, Layla’s cherry fragrance drifted into my nostrils, causing me to sob even harder.
I grabbed Layla’s pillow, clutching it to my chest as I sat on the edge of the bed. I buried my face in the pillow and screamed, releasing all the torment that was drowning and strangling me—and that I had no doubt would kill me.
25
SAM
Stars sprinkled the sky like confetti surrounding the crescent moon as the waves of the Atlantic slid along the shore in a musical push and pull. The ocean breeze wafted through the tiny opening in the accordion glass doors, carrying with it the scent of seaweed and fish tinged with salt and brine.
Layla and I were lounging on a blanket on the floor by the fireplace at my sister’s house in Maine as I rubbed circles on her pregnant belly.
I nibbled on her ear. “A penny for your thoughts.”
She leaned into me. “I don’t ever want to leave here.”
I knew she was worried about the future, something I had no control over.
“One day, baby doll, we’ll have a home on a beach or close to it where our rug rats can play, build sandcastles, fish, surf, if that’s their thing. My promise to you.” I stood and held out my hand. It was time to pop the big question. I’d been searching for how to start and what to say all day. “Come on.”
Once we were on the deck, my stomach tossed and turned. I didn’t know why I was nervous. I was sure she would say yes. Yet, that niggle of doubt was a bitch.
We bantered back and forth, Layla trying to soothe my nerves, and I was as tight as violin strings.
“Are we skinny-dipping?” she teased.
I chuckled and draped the blanket over her shoulders. “Your tits would fall off, and my balls would freeze.”
“I would hate that. I need those balls,” she said.
I nipped at her nose. “And I need those sexy tits.”
The ocean was calm. I was anything but as I struggled with where to start. I wanted the proposal to be memorable. I also wanted her to understand how important she was to me and how the energy of the universe fed my soul.
I glanced up at the million stars in the sky as she leaned against my chest, easing my anxiety. This woman who had come out of nowhere—a silent enemy I didn’t even know existed until her weak attempt to capture me for some washed-up CIA agent who had a vendetta against me. But she rocked my world the second I laid eyes on her.
I sighed. “In high school, Jo and I had a space science class that took place in the school’s planetarium, where we learned about the constellations.” I pointed out and up over the ocean. “See those three stars stacked on top of one another at a slight angle? That’s Orion’s Belt.” I used my finger to trace the outline of Orion in the air.
