Page 105 of Roses Are Dead
“I know. But I want to give you my strength. Lean on it for a bit, will ya?”
She squeezed my hand. “I might take you up on that.”
“You better.” A tear slipped out and dampened the edge of the mask. My trapped breath was hot and humid, making my cheeks sweat. I couldn’t wipe away the moisture because then I’d have to go back out and wash my hands again. I sucked in snot and tried to focus outward.
Beth saved me from an embarrassing meltdown.
“I’m glad you found someone. So, buying you twice? What was the other time about?”
I told her all about the cold ride to Maryland, meeting Betty Jo and Fin, slipped a bit of my dress free from the covering to show her the lace, and finished with, “He ordered a custom athame for me. It’s fucking expensive.”
Her eyes got a little wide. “Do you think he gets his money…illegally?” Her volume dropped significantly on the last word.
“He’s a biker. What do you think?”
“Oh, Jesus.”
I snuck a glance at the door, waiting for a nurse or other person to interrupt us. “Carl buys from him.”
“Holy shit, Rose!” This time, Beth’s warning was clear.
“I know.”
She frowned. “You can’t stay with him.”
I bit my lip and lowered my voice. “I’ve been paying attention. A couple of years ago or more, they somehow inherited half the town they are based in. It’s legit. The club owns a lot of property, and I don’t think they deal for money because they don’t really need it.” I lowered my voice to a whisper so soft, I had to lean in so Beth could hear me. “I think they’re getting out. Bear demanded that Carl buy out their agreement with them, and I don’t think it would make a difference in their income if Carl did.”
Beth’s eyes widened. “Then why do they keep doing it?”
“Appearances.” I shrugged because that might not be accurate. “Maybe pride. I don’t know.” I sat back in my chair.
Beth wouldn’t tell a soul this, but maybe I should ask for secrecy?
Nope. She carried enough of my crimes on her conscience, I didn’t need to burden her with one more.
Too soon, the visit was over. I promised Beth I’d come more often. Her color was high, and her eyes less burdened with worry than when I’d arrived. She’d seen me. She knew first-hand I was safe, and now could focus on getting better. I reminded John I owed him and his parents a night off. “Maybe Friday. Bear won’t be there then.” I slid a joking glance at Bear. He shook his head, dismissing my barb. “You’ll do it on a night I’m free, woman.”
John squinted, not understanding.
I quickly translated. “He gets grumpy if I’m left all alone without protection.”
There was a quick glance toward Bear before John faked a smile. “That’s understandable. You’re a menace left to your own devices.”
“Always.”
It felt so good to smile. Beth was going to get better. Soon. I sent the intent into the universe. Then set my will behind it, and vowed to take action when it was clear how to proceed.
Bear was much happier on the ride home. Maybe the promise of exploring this new balance between us, or just being free from the hospital made him smile more.
But that smile fell as soon as we opened the door. He raced upstairs, then to the basement, gun out and intent on killing something, but came up empty.
At first, I couldn’t see anything wrong. But then I did.
My altar wasn’t where it was supposed to be. All the objects were arranged on the dining room floor. The dark charcoal lines of a cross were thickly drawn. A page, ripped from a book lay in the center, under the toes of my goddess statue.
A passage was circled in red. I read it out loud. “But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
Bear crossed his arms.
