Page 131 of Lilah
I've never been so confused in myentirelife.
"I was just gonna come see you," Grey's voice reaches my ears but I just barely hear it, trying to figure out what is going on.
Grey knew him.
I'm an absolutely terrible, horrible, and atrocious human being.
I feel a large tear trickle down my cheek.
"Lilah?" I hear his footsteps draw closer. I'm left in the same spot. My heart breaks at what I've done to Grey.
I feel him stop beside me and I just know he's looking where I'm looking.
"Azalea," he whispers regretfully.
I'veruinedit. I've completely destroyed his last image of Jake.
The one reason I never told anybody what happened during the crash was that I didn't want to hurt anyone else. But I've done it. I've succeeded in doing the one thing I promised I'd never blab about.
He knew him.But he didn't tell me.But that shouldn't even matter, I shouldn't have ever told him. Or anyone.
I'm so destructive.
I knew karma would strike me from being selfish eventually.
I swallow back a cry.
I open the door, in an attempt to push through the heartbreaking realization of what I've done. The hallway is blurry as I start walking down it.
"Azalea, I'm sorry," Grey grabs onto my arm, turning me back around to him. He grips onto my face and tilts it up to his. I can't even look him in the eye, scared I'll see how badly I had to have hurt him.
And his thoughts about Jake.
"I fucked up. I fucked up," he says, his voice taking on a soft tone which makes me even more upset.
"I should've told you," his thumbs brush the continues tears that run down my cheeks, "please don't cry my Lilah."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he places two kisses on my forehead, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I knew him."
I'm nowhere near upset at him for not telling me he knew him. I'm upset and I despise myself for allowing my mouth to spew outdetailsof everything.
And it can never be undone or forgotten.
Heshouldn't be apologizing tome.
I pull his hands from my face and back away, and by the look on his face, I can only think that I'm just hurting him more.
I turn and try to flee once more. He catches me in the room we first kissed in, what seems like forever ago.
"I'm sorry I hurt you again. Don't go," he slips his arm around my stomach. It's even worse that he thinkshehurtme.
I did this to myself.
"I was going to tell you. I had to figure out how, I'm sorry."
"Let go, Grey, it's okay," my voice comes out very quietly. He releases me just as I say it and I turn around.
"I just need to be alone," my voice cracks and my eyes fill up and go blurry once more.
