Page 153 of Lilah
At this point in my life, I'm the furthest from alone I've ever been. But I'm also a liar and I keep things from the people most important to me.
So I feel alone.
My phone lights up with a call but I ignore it, having a feeling I know who it is.
Grey cares. He cares a lot and he's not the only one but Ican'ttell him about dad. I justcan't.
I don't want to lose my father too. He'll get better.
Right?
Why is it that I don't want to let Grey worry, but at the same time, I'm making him worry by not answering him?
Why has my mind been so conflicted about everything?
I just want it all to stop.
I want to stop worrying about dad.
I want to stop worrying about what to do.
I want to stop feeling selfish about everything.
I want to stop thinking so much.
I want to stop being scared to death of my own father.
I want to stop lying to the one person who Iknowcares about me.
I want to stop saying 'I can't.'
But Ican't.
On one of the call's last rings, I pick up the phone.
"I was wondering when the hell you were fixing to pick up the damn phone," his unhappy voice says through the phone. I bite my lip as my eyes water.
I guess he's done working for today.
"I'm sorry," I tell him softly, looking out into the sea of trees over the overlook.
"What's wrong Lilah?" his voice softens which only sends a tear down my cheek.
"I don't know," I admit defeatedly, my voice breaking.
"Where are you?" he asks softly. I calm myself and swallow the lump in my throat.
"That overhang we went to," I mumble softly.
"I'll be there in a minute," his voice remains quiet. Most likely because he can hear my shaky voice.
The call ends and I hug my knees to my chest sitting on the rock edge of the overlook. At least if I fall off this thing, there's a grass patch on the other side before it really drops off.
Like it would matter. Shut up. It does matter.
It takes Grey ten minutes to get here. It should've taken him around fifteen butsomebodymust've been speeding.
He stands to the side of me, holding out his hand. I place my hand in his and he helps me to stand and he pulls me to him.
