Page 192 of Lilah
"In Memphis," I answer.
"Your texts woke me up at three in the morning and I've been awake ever since. I got scared when you didn't answer me," she explains.
I got scared when I saw your fucking lookalike at a trafficking house.
"I'm sorry," I mumble, dragging my hand up her shirt.
"Sh, it's okay, let's just go to sleep," her voice wobbles tiredly. I lean up and watch her as her eyes close before placing a single kiss on her temple and drifting off myself.
~~~
?Azalea?
"I love you," I whisper down to Grey who still lays with his head right on my chesticles as he sleeps.
Sure, it's dumb I'm telling him I love him in his sleep. But I need practice.
If I'm leaving, I don't want to go without telling him I love him.
Google Maps told me I'd be moving five hours away. Five whole hours. And I spent the last two days helping mom pack up everything while subtly trying to tell her to get a place closer.
She didn't pick it up.
Maybe I'm overthinking things. I probably think this relationship is more serious than Grey thinks it is. I don't know, maybe he wouldn't really care that much that I'd be moving.
But I would. I really would.
And Icannotleave Mr. Terrip. I couldn't leave Grey either. Or Bear. Oh my gosh, Bear.
Maybe I could just drive back here every other day? Or every two days.
That's a lot of gas though. And I don't have gas money.
And Grey's busy a lot anyway. So he probably wouldn't want to drive five hours to see me.
Or my boobs.
I sigh softly.
"I love you so much," I whisper.
"Hm?" He hums and my eyes bulge out of my head.
"I was just talking to myself," I try to keep my sentence from sounding like a question. On the bright side, there have been a few occasions where Grey has heard me talking to myself.
He kinda just goes along with it, I don't really know how he stays with me because sometimes I can't even deal with myself.
He slowly rises off me and I breathe in the great air that can now enter my lungs.
He grips onto my arm and yanks me up too, I go flying into space. I swear, it's like hewantsme to karate chop his jugular.
"Quiet game, ready go," I announce and then shut my mouth. I walk into the bathroom and begin brushing my teeth. I can shut up if something is in my mouth.
That's what she said. Oh my gosh, that sounds like I'm talking about something bad. Well, maybe not bad but just...I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Grey follows suit. I purposefully take extra long when I start brushing my hair. Like one strand at a time slow.
The more I have to focus on, the less likely it is for me to start talking.
