Page 187 of Lilah
"Azalea," she smiles when she sees me. She pats the spot beside her and I walk over and take a seat.
A tissue box sits on the empty coffee table in front of us.
"I just want to start by saying how sorry I am," she whispers and I understand why there's a tissue box because me and her both are already teared up.
"I'm sorry for so many things," she shakes her head.
"I'm sorry for all the drinking that I never should have done. I'm sorry," she cuts herself off, grabbing a tissue and wiping under her eyes.
"I'm sorry for never standing up for you when you when Jackson would hurt you, I have no excuses," she wipes a fallen tear off my face.
I know why she didn't stop him. She was afraid.
She knew he would do the same thing to her and eventually he did.
"And most of all," she picks up my hand and holds in both of hers, "I'msosorry for not being there for when you needed me the most."
She reaches up and wipes my tears away again.
"I was too busy in my own grief to not even realize yours and I could never forgive myself for that," she shakes her head.
I understand though. I understand everything.
Why she wouldn't fight with dad on why he locked me in Jake's room. She didn't want either of us to get hurt.
"Iforgive you," I whisper and pull her into a hug.
Sure, after Jake passed everything went straight downhill, my parents, everything. It felt like the world was closing in around me and there was no way I could get out of the pain. It surrounded me.
But now, I feelhappy.And I have no worries. Everything is just amazing.
"I don't deserve that," she holds me tight to her.
"I forgive you mom," I tell her again and she cries.
We stay hugging for a couple minutes before she pulls away.
"After your father lost his job," her demeanor grows sad once more and my eyebrows furrow.
"I tried my best to keep up with everything. The bills, the payments, and everything. But I couldn't keep up, I still can't," she shakes her head.
"Well, that's okay," I give her an encouraging smile.
"We can get a smaller place. Just for the two of us!"
"Exactly," she smiles excitedly too. Everything really is amazing.
"So I looked for one," her smile stays and I get excited.
We're moving! Whoop whoop!
"And I figured it would be the best idea to get a fresh start. Tennessee holds too many bad memories, so I found a wonderful house up in Kentucky that I know you'll just love," my smile falls a bit.
"And I've already put in the offer and they accepted! This house went up on the market earlier today!" She smiles happily. A smile so happy I can't even remember the last time I'd seen it on her face.
My smile drops completely. She already got her offer excepted?
"Pack your bags honey! We're getting a fresh start in Kentucky!"
