Page 216 of Lilah
He doesn't knowshit.I'd die before being controlling over her.
"Get the fuck out of here," I send him a small shove.
"Why? Because you can't stand me being right? She'd never stay with you," he raises his finger to my face.
I'm going to break that fucking finger.
"A blind man could see you two would never belong together. Everyone can see that," he keeps his voice low.
"You're complete opposites. You could never work," he adds.
"Try saying that in front of her. You're fucking pathetic. You don't want her to see how shitty you really are," I glare at him as his little facade crumbles a bit.
I'mthe one who's always had a bad feeling about him.
"You think you know everything about her just because you've fucked her," he sneers and I feel a vein in my neck bulge.
"She deserves better than to have you in her life, I fucking know that," I say without a doubt. Who talks about someone like that? I'vefuckedher? He's a piece of shit.
"That's where you're wrong. I'm her clutch. Whenever you fuck up, she comes to me. And guess what?" he smiles, "I'll always be there for her. She's known me for years and I've always been there for her."
Thismotherfucker.
"You're in love with her," I feel my jaw tense. Listening to his little speech it's obvious now. I thought he was before maybe but now I'm positive.
"And you're not," he tells me, "you'll never love her. And she needs someone who will love her."
"Get thefuck out,"I shove him harshly toward the door.
"There that is," he throws a hand up, "that temper is gonna get the best of you. You're going to explode and she's going to come running to me."
I pick him up and throw him out the door, closing it and locking it once I shut it.
I walk past the now empty bar from where the guys cleared out. I push my way through the door and head straight to my office, locking the door behind me once I'm in.
I fall into the closest chair at the front of my desk, clutching my head. I feel my chest constricting and my breaths turn short.
Reassure, reassure, find reassurance.
Ican't.
Terrifying scenarios where Azalea leaves me play throughout my thoughts. Scenes that feel real and inevitable.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, is he right?
He is.
*The day after the fight*
I'm fucked. Utterly and completelyfucked.
Everything is my fault. Every piece of it. I don't deny it. I don't even know why I got mad that she asked what was wrong. She's always cared, why the fuck did it set me off then?
I knew it was inevitable. He's right.
I can't even walk around my place without feeling like an empty, sad fuck. How'd I live like this before her?
More fucking importantly, how do I fix this? Can I even fix it?
