Page 58 of Lilah
"Don't call me that,"I let my voice waver.
"I can call you whatever the fuck I want," he keeps his eyes away from me, not looking at me once.
Heck, I don't even have to worry about him seeing me crying. He's not even looking at me.
"I can too," I'll probably regret this later.
"You jerk," his darkly glaring eyes snap to mine only to soften a bit when they see me. Like I care.
"You're mean, you're rude, you don't care about anything, you only think about yourself, you have no manners, you-" he cuts me off jerking me to him softly.
"Shutup," his voice rumbles against me.
"You don't think before you speak, and you have no idea how your words affect other people," I begin to cry harder, shaking my head.
"You'recruel. You're evil."
"I wish you weren't so mean," I finally let out a sob. He crushes my face to his chest, his strong arms holding me impossibly close to his warm body.
With all the feelings taking over my body I sob into the chest of the man who has made me feel this way.
When the words I spoke to him finally register, I regret them. I was mean. No one should be talked to like I just talked to him. That thought only makes me continue to cry.
He smells so good. That makes me cry.
He's holding me. That makes me cry.
He's mean to me. That makes me cry.
A good little while passes with me just crying into him while he holds me to his chest. But then he pulls me away from him.
With softer eyes than I'd ever seen but his eyebrows still pulled together, he wipes the tears from my face.
"Don't cry over me," he speaks in a tone softer than I've heard from him ever before.
"Don't make me," I reply softly, my heart still in pain. His hand goes to my hair, it drifts through my locks before lightly grabbing it and tilting my head up to his.
"I don't know how to be good to you,"he finishes and my heart falls.
"I grew up with no mother. No sisters, no grandmother, no aunts," he starts, his dark eyes fixed in on my green ones.
"No one was there to tell me how to do it," his other hand brushes against my shoulder blade.
What about his dad?
"But I never did anything to you," I whisper. I hate to make myself seem full of myself but I don't think I deserved this.
"I know," his head falls downward and I find myself wanting to keep seeing those eyes of his.
"You shouldn't have acted like you wanted to kiss me if you actually didn't," I tell him. More like scold but he deserves it I guess.
His eyes raise back to mine.
"But I did," his voice remains quiet as if someone could hear us if he talked too loudly. There wasn't really anyone around.
The hand not in my hand comes to rest on the side of my neck, his thumb brushing against my jaw.
I can't do this again.
